web-goddess: archives

Tuesday, July 31, 2001

"We need a Customer Associate in Aisle 9. Bring some hot water and towels."

[1]

Ohhhhh, so when I say it's hot everybody thinks I'm complaining, but when the Queen Mother goes down with heat exhaustion suddenly it's a national emergency? I bet she has fans up the wazoo. Me, I'm sleeping with the windows open and offering my body up willingly to the flying ants.

[5]

Did I mention the yoga? Okay, so last Friday it's "Customer Appreciation Day" at my gym so I drag my sister along for a yoga class, which neither of us have never done before. Here's a minute-by-minute recap of my actual thoughts during the experience:

7:55 pm Okay, I can do this. How bad can it be, right? There aren't any weights or steps or machinery. It's just your body. Dude, this is gonna be cake.
8:05 Hmmm... the stretching is interesting. I'm enjoying it so far.
8:10 Ooh, this child's pose is pretty nice.
8:20 Dammit, man, I have no balance. It is physically impossible for me to stand on my tippy toes with my arms in the air and then lower myself to my knees while balanced en pointe. Man, this is hard.
8:25 No. No friggin' way. I can't remember that! There's, like, 17 steps in that sequence! My back feels like it's gonna break every time I try the cobra. And I can't hold the damn downward dog for more than 2 seconds without nose-diving onto the mat.
8:30 Oh God. Another hour. Please go faster. Why can I suddenly not stand on one leg?
8:45 I'm sweating bullets. I'm in serious pain. My sister is laughing at me. I HATE YOGA. Only 45 minutes left to go.

I'm pretty sure that this is the point when I blacked out.

9:20 Ahhh... Now this is the part I like. Lying in the dark and listening to white noise. I might fall asleep.
9:30 We've been lying here for 10 minutes. I'm so bored I could die. Even the relaxation in yoga is difficult. I'm never doing this again.

I dunno... maybe I just dislike all organized exercise classes. Sorry, B. I gave it a shot.

Peter Buck has plead 'not guilty' to those air raid charges. He has not, however, addressed my charge that he's suddenly become the spitting image of Steven Spielberg.

Training Over! I am now an XML/XSLT goddess. We now return you to your regularly scheduled programming...

Monday, July 30, 2001

Disconnected thoughts:

Happy birthday to my Snookums. I'll be making him Bruce Bogtrotter's chocolate cake tonight.
I'm on the third day of my four day training session. Normal blogging will resume on Wendesday, probably, unless BT get off their ass and fix our home ADSL line.
It's too damn hot. I just spent my lunch hour traipsing around Hammersmith in search of an electric fan, only to discover that the tiny supply was been completely wiped out by the overwhelming demand. The Internet is my last hope of surviving this heat wave.

Thursday, July 26, 2001

U.K. Survivor is Over!
SHE DID IT! Holy crap, Charlotte the Harlotte won the million in stunning fashion! She actually garnered all seven votes from the jury! I'd say more, but I'm gonna be late for my training if I don't run...

Wednesday, July 25, 2001

[3]

AHHH! ONLY HALF AN HOUR TIL THE SURVIVOR FINALE! I'm outta here.

As I'm off for a 4-day XML/XSLT training course starting tomorrow (oh joy), bloggage might become a little sparse. Just so you know. I wouldn't want you to think that I was slackin' off because I was havin' a good time or anything.

I got an e-mail from my Dad's girlfriend recently that I've been meaning to post:

"Kris, I read the Conversational Terrorism link and laughed. I know I've had every one of those tactics used on me. Here's a link to something similar I found a few years ago. The Control Game deals with tactics used by organized jerk-offs. You don't really feel completely abused until you've been manipulated by your own elected officials. Of course, I guess we're supposed to expect that from them, right?"

It's a great page, which bills itself as "A reference guide for recognizing political/social control tactics by power brokers, large corporations, public relations firms, and government entities." Basically, this is a list of "Ways the Big Guy Screws the Little Guy", and ways you can fight back. Very cool. Thanks, Cindy!

[2]

This is the funniest MetaFilter comment EVER. I like it even better than the original. "Oh, Jesus I wanna get witcha / And read some scripture." Sheer poetry.

I love it when Ebert gets all political. Here he takes Barbara Bush to task for showing up at Buckingham Palace in jeans.

"Perhaps denims are Barbara's native garb. It is perfectly appropriate for a Japanese woman to wear a kimono to the palace, or an Indian a sari. Perhaps Texans wear jeans as their traditional costume. Using the same loophole, she could have added a Dale Earnhardt T-shirt."

I can't believe she was such an idiot.

[1]

The perils of clubbing: falling off your platforms, getting groped, taking bad ecstasy... and getting tuberculosis. Suddenly spending Friday night at home with the Buffy DVD sounds so much better.

Katherine Harris is running for Congress. I'm trying to balance my feminist urge to congratulate her for giving it a shot with my Democratic urge to make the sign of the evil eye and call her out as the Spawn of Satan.

This one's for my sister: "Cheeky chimp Chippy's chatline".

[1]

Have you guys been following this Australian ambush story? (You Yanks probably haven't, as it doesn't involve any Americans and took place in a foreign country.) Anyway, this British girl claims that she and her boyfriend were driving down a highway in Australia's Northern Territory when a guy with a van flagged them down, claiming he needed help. The girlfriend says she heard a gunshot just after her boyfriend left their van, and then the mystery man pulled her out, tied her up, and threw her in the back of his van. She managed to escape later and hid in the scrub for six hours while the guy hunted for her with a dog. Now the whole country is out looking for this guy, and anybody with a rusty Ute is getting hauled in for questioning (a significant proportion of the population). They haven't found anything yet, and some journalists are starting to question her story. Now tell me this isn't just as interesting as that whole Chandra Levy business (which will probably just turn out along the lines of Max's theory anyway)...

[1]

Sparky broke his arm this week, but he's still bloggin'. That's some dedication. Feel better soon, Spark.

Hey! I finally got sent the Sircam virus today. Not that that's a good thing or anything, but it's always nice to be part of something. I got it once at my web-goddess address, and once at my roalddahlfans.com address. I tried to reply to one of the people to let them know that they had the virus, but Home.com bounced my e-mail and said that perhaps I had the virus! (They musta checked the reply-text or something.) Now if the bastards can keep me from sending it to one of their subscribers, why can't they keep their subscribers from sending it out??

Tuesday, July 24, 2001

[4]

I totally channeled Max: I turned to my sister as we were leaving the theater after seeing Jurassic Park 3 on Saturday and said, "I hope all those kids have screaming nightmares and their parents have to stay up all friggin' night." What is it with people bringing children to events that are clearly inappropriate for them? Here I also refer to my long-standing rant against London mothers pushing baby strollers the size of twin beds through areas that are otherwise congested with adults (i.e. the Tate Modern). Seriously, everytime I nearly get run over by one, I turn to Snookums and snarl, "Inappropriate stroller!" That's our code word.

Anyway, the movie wasn't great but it didn't suck. It really was, as Ebert pointed out, a "nice little thrill machine." I hate-hate-hated Tea Leoni, but everybody else was okay. I really liked the pterodactyl bit. (I'm pretty sure they're real, Max.) For some reason, the Barney the Dinosaur bit made me giggle like a freak. But maybe that had something to do with the three scoops of Phish Food I scarfed right before the show...

U.K. Survivor Update:
GIRL POWER! Yes, the final two competitors are both women! Richard royally screwed up by not getting rid of Charlotte when he could, and instead the alliance voted off poor Grandpa Mick. Then the Harlotte pulled the ace out of her sleeve: she told Jackie that Richard had told Pete he was being voted out. In other words, he'd been lying to Jackie all along in the hopes that she'd think the jury was prejudiced against him and thus pick him for the final two. Having ensured that Jackie would pick her over Richard, the Harlotte then managed a stunning victory in the final Immunity Challenge of the show. She wisely (I think) chose Jackie to go through with her, knowing that everybody on the Jury either A) hates Jackie or B) thinks she's a useless idiot. My money's on Charlotte to win.

Monday, July 23, 2001

[3]

I'm not usually a fan of gangster movies (especially ones that star P.Diddy), but Roger Ebert makes Made sound pretty damn good. Oh, and anything that gets Jon Favreau and Vince Vaughn back onscreen together is a good thing.

We're going to Vegas baby! They're gonna give Daddy the Rain Man suite! VEGAS!

I'm sorry that the quantity/quality of my blogging has slacked off so much in the last week or so. Alas, another site has my full attention at the moment. Things should get back to normal next week.

My housemate Nick just sent me an e-mail after visiting this site.

You don't look like this anymore Kris... So I made this one for you.

Cheeky bugger. Actually he didn't do too bad of a job. It really is that red. (Well, maybe a little darker.) It's still straight though, as opposed to the "scribble-tastic" look he's given me.

[4]

An unplanned pregnancy...
No way! Not me. (Had you going there, didn't I?) It was my Sim. It was very disturbing. Some background: I discovered with some of my other Sim families that babies majorly suck. They stay infants for three days, during which you have to feed, play, and sing to them constantly. You have to rotate as well, or else the person that stays home the whole time inevitably gets fired from their job. If all goes well, the brat finally turns into a kid. (Kids are a headache themselves, but at least they can function on their own.) So anyway, with "our" household I was always careful to say "No" whenever that "Do you want a baby?" alert popped up. The Netdecisions family (Sim Kris, Snookums, Nick, and Alex) have way too much going on to tend to a child. So yesterday I was showing off the game to my sister and she wanted to see the infamous vibrating love bed. I grabbed the nearest couple (myself and Snookums), and they got biz-zay. I got quite the shock afterwards though, when a bassinette suddenly appeared. How distressing. What with my career as a SWAT team leader and Snookums's job as a medical researcher, we had no time to raise a kid. I made the difficult decision to leave the little tyke home all the next day, after which Social Services appeared to take it away. Yeah, it was harsh, but that's the beauty of the game, right? Now if only they'd introduce some contraception into an expansion pack...

I went! Really, I did. I even dragged my sister along. But we got there early and Hyde Park was full of people camping on the grass for that night's Andrea Bocelli concert. We didn't know where to start looking. We sat under a tree and ate our Pret sandwiches while keeping watch for weblogger type people, but we couldn't seem to spot anybody. Every time I saw a promising group, it turned out to be a student tour or a congregation of conspiracy theorists. We eventually had to leave to meet up with Snookums and Ferret for a movie, so my "society of bloggers" expectations were left unsatisfied. Where was everybody?

Friday, July 20, 2001

So I think I might go to the ukbloggers party in the park tomorrow. If you're there, look for me. I'll be the one with the bright red hair (recently re-dyed) and possibly wearing white roller skates.

Thursday, July 19, 2001

[2]

New Photos!
I was digging through some of my old site backups this morning and found an unexpected relic: pictures and commentary from a wedding I went to with my college friends in 1999. It was for two Domers, Paul Brenner and Elly Terrell. I've put them up for your enjoyment. They're pretty funny... especially that one on the right. Can you figure out what's so very wrong with that picture? (You probably won't guess unless you've met me.)

Nice comment on terms of endearment over at not.so.soft. I've been known to, uh, call somebody "pork pie". That's not very sweet, is it? Rather mustard-y, in fact. (What can I say? He likes 'em.)

[6]

I had a dream about Spike last night. I blame her.

[1]

Brigita (who, by the way, has a kickin' new design) and I have been having a discussion recently at her site about It's a Wonderful Life. She found a great page of info about the famous "telephone scene", where George finally kisses Mary. *swoon* Just thought I'd share.

Wednesday, July 18, 2001

[2]

Next time somebody steals one of my images, I'm using one of these as retaliation. :)

[5]

Why did the Dalek cross the road?

BBC News is running an interesting series of stories on the "Internet Backlash". The second installment even has a picture of that "New Media New Arse" graffiti Meg saw a while back.

Tuesday, July 17, 2001

[1]

Just overheard in my office...

How big is your memory stick?

Call me childish, but I giggled.

Memo to Iggy Pop: The seven dwarves weren't from Cinderella, you idiot. If you're going to try to be all eccentric with your backstage demands, at least get the context right.

Blue Canarian in the escape of the luminous switch, that one that it observes in you. In order to give the form to a small house of the bird in its internal part.

Heh. (Thanks to Meg for the link.)

[12]

It's cool to be a nerd.
So where was I last night when I wasn't watching Survivor? I was seeing They Might Be Giants in concert! It was seriously one of the best shows I've ever seen. It was at the same venue as the Wheatus show, but fortunately the "oi-OI!" girls were nowhere to be seen. In fact, it was a Sea of Geeks. Snookums speculated that "half the servers in London are gonna go down tonight", judging by the rampant and obvious system administrator drunkenness going on around us. It was worth it though. The guys don't play London very often, and they seemed genuinely surprised that so many people showed up. (I think it ended up being sold out.) They played for almost two hours, and the set included stuff from their new upcoming album as well as every fan favorite from their back catalog. Snookums nearly fell out of his chair when John launched into "Particle Man" and "Doctor Worm". You haven't lived until you've seen a crowd of people frantically pogo-ing and rocking out to "Birdhouse in Your Soul" and "Your Racist Friend". They even did "The Guitar (The Lion Sleeps Tonight)" and the incredibly weird "Fingertips". My favorite moment, though, happened during "Twisting". As soon as the song started, Snookums and I looked at each other and laughed. Pizza Hut's been using it in commercials here for their new Twisted Crust pizza. Yes, a song about suicide to advertise pizza. Anyway, in the middle of the song, quiet John threw a "pizzaaaaaa" in the chorus. It was hilarious. Seriously, go buy all of their albums right now.

New Poll: I just had to ask. Who do you think is going to win Survivor? (If you're not British, I've supplied descriptions and links to their profiles.)

Hmmm. As I was typing up the list, I just noticed something. Richard has admitted to studying the US version of the show. Look at who's left and compare it to the American final three. You've got Richard himself, who is obviously playing the "Richard Hatch" role. Then there's Mick, the old curmudgeon (i.e. Rudy). He's essential because Richard can beat him in the final immunity challenge, or if the third person wins, they're more likely to pick Richard to go to the Jury than the nice old guy that didn't really piss anybody off. Ah, so that leaves us with just one person - the mythical Kelly Wigglesworth. Is it Charlotte or Jackie? Richard obviously wants it to be Jackie, knowing that she's even more hated than he is. Charlotte's got too many friends on the jury. So I predict that unless she scores the Immunity idol next week, the Harlotte will be tossed. Too bad.

[5]

Huh. Apparently Dave Prowse, who played (the body of) Darth Vader in all three Star Wars movies, has been having some health problems. He's recovering from some scary operations on his spine. "Maybe the Force was with me," he said afterwards. I met him a year and a half ago at a collector's fair in Wembley and he seemed really nice. I've got an autographed picture somewhere... I should dig that out and scan it.

Nice article about John Hughes over at Salon. But no mention of Ferris? Shocking omission.

[4]

Hmmm. There's a UK Bloggers meet-up this Saturday in Hyde Park. Should I go? On one hand, it might be fun to meet some of these folks. On the other hand, I'm not British, I'm just a re-located American. I'd feel weird. And the whole point of me having a weblog that I do better on paper than I do in person. I'm really shy around people I don't know. The blog is where I spout all the crap that would normally only be heard by Snookums and the other people in my house. I dunno. Am I overanalyzing? Should I just suck it up and go? What if I stand around by myself the whole time?

"If you're a seriously overweight white woman, losing 65 pounds is likely to be as lucrative as an extra year of college or three extra years of work experience." As if I needed another reason to go to the gym.

Poor Napster. First they bend over and take it from Metallica, and now they're ditching the mp3 format? Stick a fork in 'em; they're done.

At long last! Someone has discovered why the shower curtain sucks in. Snookums and I have argued that one before. He was a fan of the hot-air-rising theory, while I stuck to the Bernoulli principle. The real answer is even cooler: a mini-hurricane forms in your shower! (NYT link requires free registration.)

I was happy to note that Google was not named in the complaint filed by Nader's consumer group about search engine payola.

Good riddance, you pitiful little troll.

U.K. Survivor Update: Oh. My. God. You will not believe what a petty little troll Eve is! At least she's gone. This is yet another episode that I missed (for reasons that shall become clear in a moment), but here are the highlights from the episode summary:

After Zoe's departure, Eve quickly realized that there's a new alliance in town and wasted no time getting in a bitchfest with Jackie. Mick came to the same conclusion but had a much better strategy: if you can't beat 'em, join 'em. As food was still going missing, Mick dropped a few clues that led to the discovery of a bottle of ketchup in Eve's bag. Incredulous, the group decided to leave it there and seemed resolved to vote her off. Mick breathed a little easier.
The Reward Challenge involved guessing how much weight you'd lost. Eve turned out to be the winner of a large chocolate cake, which she even shared with the rest of the group. She should've kept it to herself. They all hate her.
Charlotte raised herself even further in my esteem with this comment on her situation: "I trust Jackie more than Richard because I know he's been playing the game all along. I know he's looking to be in the last two, not with me I don't think because he wants me voting because he's built me up to vote for him, so it's a difficult situation to be in." Is that not just what I predicted?
The Immunity Challenge involved everybody keeping their hand on an upturned log. Whoever left it there the longest would win. In the middle of the contest, though, Charlotte got her period. Richard, Mick, and Jackie told her that it was fine with them if she briefly left the log to go "sort herself out." Eve, however, didn't agree and told her that she'd have to stay. So Charlotte had to stand there and put in a tampon while cowering under Richard's sarong and keeping one hand on a log. CAN YOU IMAGINE? With every petty injustice she suffers, the Harlotte just grows in my estimation. Eve later said, "I felt when Charlotte got her period yesterday on the log I just thought that is so pathetic to say just because you're a girl you're allowed to step off because you've got your period. It's like bloody grow up. It's not anything more than having a wee, it's just a bodily fluid." Spoken like the little masculine troll she is. Richard ended up winning the Challenge, of course, and Eve knew she was on the way out.
But she wouldn't go down without a fight! On the way back to camp, Eve confessed to Mick (who she mistakenly still thought was an ally) that she was going to drink all the ketchup to spite everybody. On Tribal Council day, she also packed her backpack with most of the remaining stock of tampons (which she knew Charlotte would be needing) and one of the four remaining waterproof ponchos. Later, Jackie went through her bag and found the stash. The rest of the group was so pissed that they took the poncho and slashed a message into the back. It wasn't clear what was written, but Richard gave a clue when he asked: "Are we allowed to carve words beginning with 'F'?" Hee! He continued later, "Can you imagine it - you're out the game and the only way you can make a statement is to put a bottle of half-diluted tomato ketchup under your floorboard and steal tampons?"
Finally, Tribal Council. Mark Austin asked everyone what they thought of Eve's behavior during the Immunity Challenge. Mick said it was inhumane. Jackie added, "Our only supply of tampons was taken by Eve, knowing full well that Charlotte needed them and I thought that was very selfish." Eve responded, "Do I get a chance to answer to this? It's so pathetic, if you want to go into detail I didn't think Charlotte was using that particular brand of tampons... Jackie told me she couldn't cope with having a period here, and I'm about to get my period, so I took some but having put about ten back Jackie did rifle through my bag." What? Anyhoo, everybody voted for her and the troll was gone. Her only parting words were "Good luck Mick. You're going to need it." Did she not realize that he too joined with the others? What an idiot.

I wish the rest of the country would wake up to how brilliant this show is. Of course, judging by how many episodes I've missed myself, ITV's scheduling leaves much to be desired...

Monday, July 16, 2001

Sister Update: Amy and I haven't killed each other yet. In fact, we haven't even had a real fight yet. (It's more remarkable when you consider that it only took us three days to get into a bitchfest the last time she visited.) She's been here two weeks and she seems to have settled in well. She's got a secretarial job working at the Psychiatric Department of Chelsea and Westminster Hospital. (Nerdy Sims joke: When Snookums heard about her job, he asked, "How many family friends do we need before she gets to be a Test Subject?") She's in the process of moving her blog to a new host, so she hasn't been updating it lately. It's good that she's here, because it forces me to stop taking my time in London for granted. Last weekend she dragged me off to Portobello Road where I fulfilled one of my lifetime shopping ambitions and purchased a pair of white ladies rollerskates (the old-fashioned kind). Now all I need are some pink wheels and shoelaces and I'm set.

Whoa! I know I'm breaking my own rule about not linking to them, but this Bransonshows.com site is really pissing me off. When I went to verify that no bloggers had taken the "link" bait, I refreshed my browser window and was astonished to see that the entire list of "Our Friends" changed. It's completely dynamic. I don't remember that being in the proposal. So I was supposed to put a static link on my site in return for maybe getting seen on theirs? Ugh. It's a bit childish, but I had some fun filling out their stupid little survey with negative answers. Oh, and check out one of their "Friends": The Ultimate Deception. I wonder if that webmaster even realizes who he's sending out his spam to.

[7]

I just received another "let's trade links" e-mail. Unlike the obnoxious "Branson Spam" (which, by the way, looks like it was entirely unsuccessful, seeing as how there aren't any bloggers listed on their site), this one seemed to be a genuine request. I wrote back and explained that while I don't "trade" links, I do publicize sites that I visit. I mean, I don't like the idea that blogging is all about advertising yourself and getting a lot of traffic. Those links on the left are sites that I visit every day for their content. Some of them are written by people that I've come to consider as friends. I'd rather have a good discussion going with brigita and Bill and John than have lots of anonymous visitors. That said, I know how hard those first few months of blogging are, when your IP address is the only one showing up in the logs. It seems like everybody else has their own little groups and cliques and it's hard to find a place for yourself. Here are my tips for publicizing your site (without being annoying) and getting to know some of the people behind the blogs:

When you find a blog you like, bookmark it on your site (without asking to "trade links"). Check out the blogs that that person recommends. Always use the links on your own site to check your favorite blogs. Most bloggers are obsessive about checking their site logs, and your address will catch their eye sooner or later. I discovered Angie's site that way.
Leave comments if possible. When someone takes the time to contribute to a discussion, I immediately check out their site. That's how I discovered several of the blogs I check daily. I've also left comments on nearly all those sites as well. Blogging isn't just a one-way street. (Oh, but never leave a comment simply to plug your own site. Very tacky.)
Update often. As I've said before, I've got a serious addiction to content. If your site languishes for months, you'll get deleted from my bookmarks.
Contribute to a community site, like MetaFilter or Plastic or Disturbing Search Requests. If you leave interesting comments, people will follow your link to find out more about you. For the month that I was on Plastic, I got lots of hits. (It helps if you let slip that you're a girl, I admit.)

Above all, the key is not to actively *appear* to be doing anything to promote your site. If you have something to say, people will find it. If you're just trying to drum up meaningless traffic numbers, people will resent you. (Yes, Bransonshows.com, I'm looking at you.) Do my fellow bloggers have any other tips for newbies?

I once knew a guy named Dave Park that named his baby son "Fenway." True story. Check out the Institute for Naming Children Humanely. (Link courtesy of Danelope.)

[2]

Depressing. According to this, I am "histrionic, avoidant, narcissistic, and obsessive-compulsive." What a wonderful way to start the week.

Getting married on the Titanic has to be the tackiest, most morbid thing I've ever heard.

[2]

Dammit. I was all excited about the new Breeders album until I realized it's practically a completely different band. I always liked that drummer guy. (Thanks to Max for the heads-up.)

Sunday, July 15, 2001

[2]

Hooray! Max is back from holiday. Happy belated birthday to Mr. Plow! (Twenty-nine's a good age. My grandma's been stuck on it for about 45 years.)

Friday, July 13, 2001

I hereby rescind my congratulations to Goran Ivanisevic for winning Wimbledon. The guy's an asshole.

[4]

Hey, Meg, I ran into some friends of yours at the Wheatus concert last night. Yeah, it was the "oi-OI!" girls. They were everywhere and they were damn annoying.

Awww, look! It's Ron and Max! (I cracked myself up by immediately jumping to Max's site to see if I could peg where he was on his wardrobe flowchart.)

[2]

Alice Randall, while visiting the Margaret Mitchell Museum in Atlanta: "I think traditional fans of 'Gone With The Wind' are angry and irritated by 'The Wind Done Gone' but I didn't write 'The Wind Done Gone' for fans of 'Gone With The Wind,' she said. "I wrote 'The Wind Done Gone' for black women who have been damaged by 'Gone With The Wind' and for white men who can take a critical look at themselves. Oh, and also to really piss off Kris Howard."

Okay, so I made that last bit up.

Thursday, July 12, 2001

Damn. Amazon are good. They send me spam that it's impossible for me to delete. Just now I got one from them that said, "We've noticed that many of our customers who have purchased Army of Darkness also enjoy books by Bruce Campbell." Of course they do! And then they include a link to his new autobiography, If Chins Could Kill: Confessions of a B Movie Actor. How cool is that?

Wednesday, July 11, 2001

Not many posts today... I was possessed of some serious coding fervor and attacked my Roald Dahl site. You won't see the changes just yet, but they're coming. I'm really happy with how it's going. The site is going to rock when I'm finished.

[8]

Kickass. It's the new Enterprise!

[3]

Are you a prima donna programmer? I've certainly met people like this article describes, but I don't see it as being something exclusive to hackers. A lot of bright people learn early on that "teamwork" really means "doing all the work", and that impacts the way they function in groups later in life. I personally hate working on group projects, simply because in school, I was the smart one who'd always get assigned to the groups with the worst students. The teacher had good intentions (obviously hoping the others would benefit from my help), but in the end the others would always be more than willing to let me do all the work. And I'd have to do it, since otherwise my grade would suffer. I imagine that a lot of those "prima donna programmers" had similar experiences. You get tired of carrying the team, and sometimes you just want to do things your way and know that they'll be done right. That said, I have had some positive team experiences here at work, but the best ones have always been where I had complete control over my area of the project. It's just hard for me to give that up.

Tuesday, July 10, 2001

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, SISTER!
Congratulations to my little sis, who turned 22 today. We'll be celebrating with a few beers in the pub tonight, and then the real fun is the concert on Thursday (see below). And what's more, she got a job today! I hope the rest of her stay in London is as good as the first week has been.

[1]

In preparation for this Thursday's show, I finally bought the Wheatus CD so me, Snookums, eMan, and Amy will be sufficiently prepared. I can't wait! How does one dress like a "teenage dirtbag", I wonder? (There are the obvious references to Keds and knee socks, but it's a bit cold for that this week.)

Those of you in the States are probably rolling your eyes and proclaiming the web-goddess "so last season." Well, for your information, the CD's only been out here for a few months, so piss off. Yeah, yeah, yeah, we're a little behind. But we were listening to Travis and David Gray and the Stereophonics for years before you bastards, so it all evens out in the end.

[1]

Check this out: a weblog devoted to cataloguing spelling errors in other weblogs. I'm a spelling Nazi myself (and former County Spelling Bee champion), but I don't like this concept. Weblogs are personal pages. You don't criticize somebody's personal page, period. I've been on weblogs where I hate the design or the functionality or whatever, but I've kept my mouth shut because that's what polite people do. If a blogger's style of writing bothers you, don't read their stuff. Simple as that. There's no need to get pedantic about it. (Link courtesy of John, who agrees with me.)

[1]

Happy Blogging Anniversary to Matt at Scrubbles!

[4]

Gael linked to fascinating article about selling your eggs. You know, I think I'd consider doing that. Not only for the money (although $5000 is a hefty chunk of change), but for the satisfaction of helping out some couple with no other option. What do I care? I've got lots of eggs and I don't foresee using more than a couple, if that. I dunno. What do other people think? I don't have any concerns (moral or otherwise) beyond the risks associated with the removal process. Is that weird?

[1]

I am LOVING the song "Romeo" by Basement Jaxx. I saw the video last night at the gym and I thought it was brilliant. Is Rooty a good album? Is this song representative? Should I buy it? (I'm really just asking Max, since he's the only person I know that's knowledgeable about "dance" music.)

Paula Poundstone's problems keep getting worse. Now it's come out that just before her arrest she checked into a rehab facility to be treated for alcoholism. Oh, and Yahoo's got a picture of that outfit I mentioned. *horrors*

[3]

AJ! Say it isn't so!

U.K. Survivor News: And just like that, it got interesting again! Last week Ular turned on my beautiful, emaciated, conflicted Pete and kicked him off the island. The Harlotte's days were numbered. Then, amazingly, Richard approached her for an alliance! Together with Jackie (who I still loathe), they managed to vote off Zoe, the devious Lesbyterian actress. I have to say, Rich's got a good idea here. He knew that his former tribemates wouldn't waste a second getting rid of him as soon as the remains of Helang were gone, because he's the only one with a serious chance of winning challenges and staying in the game. So he's managed to turn the odds in his favor, while also making nice with Charlotte, who could be counted on to sway Andy, James, and Pete in the Jury. I think his plan is just to get into the final three, win the challenges, and pick the suckiest, lamest person left to go forward with him. Everybody will realize that he played the game way better than anybody else, thus they will award him the million quid. (Has this guy studied his Richard Hatch or what?) I gotta say, at this point I *am* sorta cheering for the evil genius. He's made it interesting again.

Monday, July 9, 2001

The BBC analyzes the UK's recent sport failures and why they continue to happen.

[3]

New Poll!
In honor of my several recent video game related posts, I'm asking which genre of game is your favorite. And once again, I've made all the "explanations" apply to me. I can't help it; I think it's funny. Anyhoo, I personally found it very difficult to vote since I play just about all of those types fairly often. When I compared approximate total hours of life wasted, though, the answer was pretty clear. "Puzzle" it was. (When I was breaking up with my psycho boyfriend in high school, I would literally spend HOURS hiding from him in the computer lab and playing Minesweeper.)

Aside: When I just told Snookums about this poll, he responded, "Does 'downloading source code and recompiling it just for fun' count as a game genre?" *grin* No.

Oh, and bonus points to the first person to correctly identify the film reference buried in the options...

[2]

Wow. What's left after your life is complete? I mean, congratulations and all, but you're setting yourself up for one hell of a downhill ride, Goran.

*retinas burning*

This is the ugliest website I've seen in a long time. Remember Uncle Jakob's advice, kids. Flash = EVIL. Happy Surf...

Good Lord. More on that broomstick business: "The broomstick is not only for flying. It's also an important fertility symbol. To be blunt, it is a combination of the male and female naughty bits. As a fertility symbol it has to be treated with respect, and flying it the wrong way is like a sacrilege. Quite simply, you can't fly a broom the wrong way. It just would not fly."

This guy has just ruined the film for me. Instead of being thrilled by the exciting Quidditch scenes, I'm going to be thinking about, uh, fertility symbols.

A high priest of the British White Witches claims that the Harry Potter trailer is all wrong and that Harry's riding his broomstick backwards. "Warner Brothers claims the film is an accurate portrayal of things that happen in witchcraft, yet woodcuts from the 16th and 17th centuries show broomsticks being ridden with the brush part in the front," said Kevin Carlyon, who has his own coven in Sussex, southern England. *blink* WHAT? A) Since when is Harry Potter an "accurate portrayal" of witchcraft? and B) Who the hell cares?

It was a bad weekend for British sport. In fact, some would say it was the worse weekend ever. Not only did Tim Henman finally get bounced from Wimbledon, but the Brits got beaten by the Aussies at rugby, the Ashes (annual cricket series), the Lacrosse World Cup, the Speedway World Cup and the women's cricket. Ouch. (Snookums, of course, thinks it was the best weekend ever.)

Atari rules. There's a mint 2600 in the box at the Retro Gaming Shop downtown. Come on, stock options!

John found a great article in the Guardian about the original UK Big Brother contestants and how they've been dealing with fame. They all sound like total wankers, except for Mel (who I always thought was nice) and Anna (who I saw on a BBC program the other day).

Snookums loaded up Boudicca (my iMac) with Quake 3 Arena on Saturday in preparation for our long-awaited frag-fest. Unfortunately I pretty much suck, so I don't think it's going to be much of a contest. Maybe if I had this guy as my character though...

Friday, July 6, 2001

I used to visit the Lycos 50 pretty often just to keep my "finger on the pulse" of the Net. Now Google have developed their own version: Google Zeitgeist. It shows you search trends, popular searches, and comparisons of queries. Very interesting.

[2]

I've ranted about Victoria Hervey before, right? Well, she's at it again. (Pissing me off, that is.) Apparently her trendy little Belgravia boutique was about to go under when it was rescued by a mystery backer. The resulting publicity means "Lady V" will be polluting the British media with her obnoxiousness for some time to come. Her shop - get this - "never orders more than two of any type of outfit, to minimise the chances of customers - who include Kate Moss, Jemma Kidd and Lili Dent-Brocklehurst - finding their clothes duplicated." I'm glad that she's, you know, providing such a service to mankind and all. *eye roll*

"More than 23,000 people at Rosenblatt Stadium gyrated, sang along and spelled out the title of the Village People's hit song 'Y.M.C.A.' for more than five minutes on Wednesday, apparently setting a new [world's] record."

That's bull. I mean, they played "Y.M.C.A." at Wrigley Field when we were there in early June and everybody stood up and danced. There had to be more than 23,000 people there. This is a stupid record.

We survived the heat wave... only to be battered by thunderstorms. UK weather is NUTS.

I finally saw Shrek last night. I thought it was really good, but not quite as great as Toy Story 2. I dunno... I think it was the animation. I'm not saying that all animation has to be "realistic", but I just didn't particularly like this style. Everything seemed a little too smooth. The characters didn't seem to have any weight to them. There's a reason that Toy Story and A Bug's Life didn't feature very many humans - they destroy the suspension of disbelief.

Woohoo! I'm gayer than brigita! But only by 5%.

[1]

Buffy Spoilers! There are some pretty big revelations in there, so read at your own risk. Of course, AICN's predictions usually run about 50-50, so take everything with a huge grain of salt. (Personally, I think the bit about Willow is ridiculous. No way they'd do that. Of course, they have completely changed her character before. Remember how she started out as the shy, Xander-lovin' nerdy computer girl, only to turn into a hot, confident lesbian witch?)

Crud. Just noticed that the Dahl site is back up again. Come on liquidators!

Thursday, July 5, 2001

[2]

CHECK IT OUT! Kabel New Media, who did the official Roald Dahl site, has gone bankrupt. Their crappy, Flash-ridden site is now history. Once again, I run the premium Dahl site on the 'Net.

[6]

Looks like Saturn.org got the same crap "let's trade links!" e-mail that I did. Ugh. It was from the webmaster at bransonshows.com (I won't link to it, because that would defeat the point of my refusal.) I wrote the sender back and asked why in the world he thought my content would be interesting to wealthy senior citizens who enjoy RVing. He said, "Many of our visitors would like to read about others, so that is why I emailed you." Apparently instead he should've responded, "I'm spamming every weblogger I can find in the hopes that they'll mention me and it'll drive up traffic at my crap site, so please help." Whatever.

[3]

I've picked up Rodd's Australian habit of calling English people "poms". He's always maintained that nobody knows why they use that word, but Nick always claims that it somehow stands for "Prisoner of His Majesty". Fortunately, Snopes has an answer.

[4]

Huh. It turns out that iceberg photo I was raving about back when is actually fake. It's a composite of four pictures that was created for those cheesy Successories posters.

Those wacky English. A Londoner recently got pissed off when he found a notice on the fence where he locks his bicycle each day that prohibited him doing that. So as revenge, now he locks other things to the fence. His website, which documents his activities, is called: What should I put on the Fence? Recent items have included a green refrigerator door, an ironing board, and a teapot. You can even suggest new things for him to decorate the fence with.

Paula Poundstone is guilty... of committing a fashion crime! Check out what she wore to her arraignment: "a lime-green pantsuit, pink shirt and plaid tie". Paula, Paula, Paula. I definitely think you should be given your say in court, but please burn those clothes. Now.

Science rules. Two guys think they've found out a way to air condition the Tube.

Sorry for the lack of bloggage yesterday. I was in a training session for half the day and then my computer decided to have a nervous breakdown after lunch. It wasn't a pretty site. Anyway, Happy belated 4th of July to my American readers. My sister and I thought of having a mini-celebration here, but decided against it. "When in Rome..." and all that. I did miss it though. England's big fireworks holiday (Guy Fawkes Day) isn't until November, which isn't exactly conducive to lying on the grass and looking up at the display. Anyway, I hope y'all had a good time.

Tuesday, July 3, 2001

So you've been deposed from office, extradited to The Hague in the Netherlands, and now you're standing trial for atrocities your forces committed in Kosovo. What's the icing on the cake? The airline loses your damn luggage.

[3]

Are you a Harry Potter fan? Remember that woman I blogged about who's suing Rowling for copyright infringement? Someone has written an in-depth review of the book in question: "The Legend of Rah and the Muggles." It looks pretty sucky, and not at all anything like Harry Potter.

Just looking through my comments and discovered a new blog: magician.org.uk. I like the design a lot, and the content is unique. It's all about magic!

Henmania continues.

[8]

Nicole Appleton and Liam Gallagher have named their newborn son "Gene". Not a very rock and roll name, is it? (Well, except for Gene Simmons, but Liam's given no indication that he's a big KISS fan.) As further indication that she's an idiot, Appleton declared that giving birth was "easier than having a tattoo". Gallagher, as expected, headed to the pub immediately after the birth. I don't envy that kid his parents. Oh, and look at his full name: Gene Appleton Gallagher. His initials spell "Gag"!

The EIC report on the world's most expensive cities is out again. As I mentioned back in January, it costs a friggin' LOT to live in London. We've actually moved up the list a couple of spots and overtaken New York. Interestingly, we're now #2 in Europe thanks to Oslo jumping five spaces. I had no idea it was so expensive to live in Norway.

[2]

Everybody's been linking to this list of Conversational Terrorism Tactics, which also happens to be a guide to every argument that takes place in our house. Our favorites are "Lunatic Fringe", "Selective Quotation", and "Studies Have Shown." (In fact, we have our own name for that last one. It's called "Pulling a Woodroffe.") I've also come up with a few additions to the list based on arguments we've actually had in the last week:

GEOGRAPHISM:

"I understand [your point about space travel], but what about when the Americans killed all the Indians?"
"Of course you'd think that [about the weather], you thieving Aussie bastard. Your ancestors were all criminals!"

VISUAL AID:

"I know you think that [women are psychologically predisposed to avoid fighting], but check out this move I once used on a huge bloke in a karate match in 1994. Okay, now I grab you 'round the neck like this..."

In fact, Snookums has suggested that the very concept of "Conversational Terrorism" should be renamed "Condie Baiting". Heh.

[2]

"So you want to be an online pornographer?" Actually, Snookums and I joke about this kind of thing all the time. A guy we used to work with actually had experience working for an online porn site. Everybody in the industry knows that that's where the real money and innovation are. I mean, porn sites were turning a profit before Jeff Bezos even knew what the Internet was. Now that the dotcom boom is over, it's looking like a more and more attractive option for folks worried about falling stock options and layoffs. Unfortunately for me, I don't think I could do it. I mean, skim through that Salon story. The guy sounds like a real asshole! I wouldn't want a job that I'd be embarrassed to tell my parents about. I wouldn't want to participate in the continued public degradation of women. This guy thinks he's hit the jackpot because he can buy a new car with two days' salary and gets invited to porn-picture-taking parties. *shudder* Like I said, it's a funny thing to joke about, but the reality looks quite different. I'd sooner become a farmer and do something real than sell my soul serving up digital excrement to the masses.

[6]

Can you juggle? I can. I had to learn to do it for a one-act play. Luckily my co-star was a jugglin' freak, so he taught me pretty much all of it. He was also a contact juggler, which always makes me think of David Bowie in Labyrinth. (My co-star also told me that Bowie didn't do his own juggling for the film; an expert simply stuck his arms around from behind.) Anyway, here's an excellent juggling site that even includes cool animated gifs demonstrating tricks. (Link courtesy of Zannah.)

Brigita found a cool toy at the PBS site: Surname Popularity Index. You enter your last name and it tells you how popular it is in the U.S. based on Social Security records. "Howard" is #62 out of, like, 50,000! Yeah, baby! I got more relatives than you can shake a stick at.

[3]

AICN is running an interview with Peter Billingsley, otherwise known as Ralphie from A Christmas Story. He's working as a producer now and seems like a well-adjusted guy. (Did you know he was on "Punky Brewster"?!) Still, it's gotta be kinda weird to see yourself on TV for 24 hours straight at Christmas.

Monday, July 2, 2001

Reason 6,415 Why I Love Britain: The British Medical Assocation have passed a motion that will allow women access to the morning after pill free from pharmacists. Yes, free. Without a prescription. Meanwhile in the States, only 15% of women even know that such a pill exists. And even if a woman did know, is she really going to head down to Planned Parenthood and run the risk of some whackjob shooting her? We're talking about something that could reduce the number of abortions in America by 50%. (Whether you're pro-life or pro-choice, I think everybody can agree that fewer abortions is a good thing.) Now I don't want y'all to get the wrong idea about me. I've never had the need for these services whether in the U.S. or the U.K. But I still love the fact that over here, the government doesn't try to legislate what happens with women's bodies. They give us the choice and the means to take control of their own lives. I also like that they subsidise their programs so the poor (i.e. the ones most in need of the services) aren't left out. Did I mention that ALL contraception is covered by the National Health Service here? Sometimes leaving the U.S. feels like travelling into the future by 100 years.

Whatever happened to broadband? Seriously. Snookums and I have been waiting for AGES. BT sucks.

[2]

England's most scandalous murder trial in several years is finally over. A jury convicted Barry George of the Jill Dando murder. Unlike the OJ Simpson case, I think the public are going to be very happy with this verdict. Personally, I'm glad that he's being put away. The neighborhood where he lives (and where the crime took place) is, like, just one Tube stop over from mine.

New Answer Man column over at Ebert's site, if you're interested. I thought the question about Pearl Harbor was pretty funny.

Have you checked out my list of recent search requests lately? I've discovered the secret to increasing your Internet traffic: mention an up-and-coming (and not-at-all-bad-looking) young tennis player.

[2]

She's heeeeere!
Yeah, so part of the reason I'm irritable today is that I've been up since 5 a.m. Snookums and I had to haul ass to Heathrow in time to meet my sister, who was due to arrive at 7:20. Due to some freaky-ass 100 mph tail winds, her flight arrived half an hour early. I had fortuitously checked BA's website the night before, though, so we were there with plenty of time to spare. (That's her just stepping outside the Arrivals door. I caught her mid-blink.) She's going to be here for a few months killing time before going to grad school or something. At any rate, the first item on her agenda is to get a J-O-B.

New Poll: What do you use for your password? (Sorry I got so catty in the responses. It's Monday morning and I feel a little on edge.)

Good gracious. How much would I LOVE to have a 35-hour work week?! It's not the hours so much as the days. Even at 40 hours I'd prefer to work four 10-hour days and have an extra day of weekend. (I'm here for 10 hours most days anyway.) I could - dare I say it? - have a LIFE.

In honor of the fact that Snookums, Ferret, and I watched six - yes, SIX - episodes of Buffy Saturday, here's a timely list of Things I Will Do If I Am Ever the Vampire. (Thanks to John for the link.)

Did I tell you about when we bought the Season 2 DVD? We actually got it at Tesco, which is a British supermarket that also happens to sell DVDs and CDs and appliances and stuff. So we pick up the empty box and head to the checkout to pay and get the actual discs. The guy rings through our other stuff and then does a double-take when he scans the box. "Seventy-five quid? That can't be right." "Uh, yeah, it is." And he's like, "How many are in there?" And we're like, "Six." He looks at us like the geeks we are. "You guys really like Buffy, huh?" We're now thoroughly embarrased. "Uh, yeah." He didn't say anything after that, but I could tell he just wanted to get us out before any of our nerddom rubbed off on him. :)

Snookums was telling me about this computer password survey recently. Twelve hundred users were asked which category their passwords fit into. Nearly half were in the "family" group, using their own name or nickname or somebody in their family's name. "So many people tend to subconsciously believe that their password has to sum up the very essence of their being in one word." Which is funny when you think about it, because nobody (hopefully) ever sees it! I've got four passwords that I tend to rotate. One's a book, one's a film reference, and two are places. Hmmm... This might make an interesting poll (since I seem to have lost a lot of you with the Heathers reference).

[2]

Max: Ouch. Feel better soon.

"Patricia Neal Hopes to Save Theater." She was Roald Dahl's wife. Not that anybody cares but me.