Kooky Customer of the Day

Kooky Customer of the Day
I spent half an hour this morning helping some lady pick out wools to make a tapestry cushion. She’d already bought a kit that included the yarns, but they were acrylic and she apparently had a mandate to make this puppy all natural. We couldn’t find all the colors, of course, so she had to substitute and that meant, you know, MAKING DECISIONS and all, which can be very difficult when you’ve never done it before. Eventually, I sighed in frustration and laughed, “Your friend must be pretty special for you to go through all this trouble!” She responded, “Oh, it’s actually for my daughter. She just got engaged!” I congratulated her. “And she lives in this commune, you see, where they’re not really allowed to have possessions as such, at least not artificial ones; like if you buy them a microwave, it has to go in the ‘Communal Kitchen’ for everyone. But now that she’s getting married, they’ll be allowed to finally have their own room, a bedroom combined with sitting room and nursery, when that rolls around, and they’re allowed to decorate it but only with natural fibres, which is why I’m making her the cushion. Gee, I really wish I could ask her about the colors, but they don’t allow me to visit her…” I just gulped and pointed out that one of her chosen yarns was 50% acrylic, which meant she had to spend another fifteen minutes revising the colors. So here’s a tip: When you get invited to a wedding at your local Branch Davidian Complex, be sure and check the fibre content of your gift. You don’t want to look like an ass, now do you?


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  1. wow. there are a lot of odd people in the world. this story is still less strange than R.A.M. though!

  2. oh no, poor mom. no visits, wtf? mr. t should go to that commune and wreck stuff up.

  3. I would be calling in the deprogrammers as we speak!

  4. Have you seen “Holy Smoke”, catboy? Paging Mr. Harvey Keitel! 🙂

  5. Yes, let’s just hope her deprogrammer doesn’t end up a snivelling wreck wandering the desert in an illfitting dress!

  6. Did I ever tell you that’s the movie the Snook and I saw on our first date? I picked it because I thought it was Australian and figured it would be a good topic of conversation. Instead we were both pretty much shell-shocked afterwards. 🙂

  7. I can imagine! Not a great first date movie – almost as bad as two friends of mine who saw “Damage”on their first date. I don’t think they had really read any reviews and just sat uncomfortably side by side and had an extremely awkward coffee afterwards.

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