Regis Philbin is donating $2.75 million for a studio theater in the new Performing Arts Center his (and my) alma mater is building. Which is really generous and nice and all, but I find this quote from the chair of the department hilarious: “We would welcome this gift for any purpose, but to designate it for a theater that will be the home space for our lab and performance-art productions — a place for experiment and adventure in the arts — is especially appropriate.” What? Since when did Regis Philbin become “experimental” and “adventurous”? It’s not like we’re talking about Lars Von Trier here. That ass-kissing seriously pushes the boundaries of credibility.