Apparently Calista Flockhart fainted when she heard the news that Robert Downey Jr. had been arrested for drugs again. Fainted. Has any woman actually swooned with emotion since, like, 1885? I suppose when you’re that tiny, any disruption in your trickle of blood flow is enough to bring on a collapse. (It’s horrible, but I found this really funny: “Everyone ran over and tried to revive her. David’s face was pale but Calista, who is usually very pale, was as white as a sheet.” Of course she’s pale, she’s a skeleton.)

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  1. like they didn’t see that coming? the guy had PROBLEMS. he’s a hottie, but he’s fuct up.

    and ps, calista has a duckface.

  2. I just don’t get it. I’ve never experienced a serious addiction so I just *can’t* wrap my mind around the fact that someone would keep doing something that was so obviously detrimental to their health, their career, and their personal freedom. I know it’s a sickness and all, but to me there’s a huge element of stupidity involved as well. He’s got hundreds of people trying to help him out, and he keeps letting them down.

  3. too funny–i thought you were talking about Duckface until i got to the masculine pronoun!

  4. I take this as evidence that the distinction between Calista Flockhart, actress, and Ally McBeal, character, is blurry to the point of nonexistence. You’re right — nobody’s, like, fainted since 1885 — at least *not until* the Ally character came along and made it (!) fashionable again. At any rate, fainting at the news of Downey’s re-arrest seems typical of Ally McBeal, just what I’d expect in the next new episode. The fact that Calista herself fainted (whom I presume has a more professional than personal relationship with Downey, though I haven’t been following the tabloids) just induces an odd sort of vertigo.

  5. Too true, too true. It really astounds me that she’s thought of as a “strong” female character, because I really feel like she’s personally responsible for setting the Women’s Movement back about fifty years. She’s this neurotic, crazy, frail, tiny little thing that needs men around her to protect her. She reminds me of Dora, from one of Freud’s books. I hate to give Siggy any credit, but Ally McBeal has “frigid sexual hysterics” written all over her. Wow. Now that I think about it, there are a LOT of similarities between her and Dora. They both have oral and finger fixations, they both have lesbian issues, and they both swoon when faced with harsh realities that big strong men can’t save them from.

    I’m disgusted.

  6. Yuck. How insensitive are you? I can’t think of a genuine reason for you to be so nasty about Calista Flockhart other than maybe you are overweight and she grates on your nerves because of that. Sorry, but hey, what else can it be? If ANYONE faints or appears to be suffering in any way emotionally because of concern for somebody else, there is no cause for nastiness – how would you like it? And since she’s beautiful and talented and obviously compassionate for Robert Downey Jr’s situation, I can only assume sour grapes on your part, which is all too clear from the nasty little comment about her being a skeleton. I pity you. And I think the world of Calista. And don’t worry, I won’t be checking back here so it doesn’t really matter if you leave a nasty response to my message. I just had to express my disgust.

  7. Are you… Harrison Ford? Wow! Celeb sighting! 🙂

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