I remember once being at an event with a group of women and telling a silly anecdote about something I was excited about. I honestly can’t even remember the topic. But what I do remember was one of the other women – who’d been drinking quite a bit – sneering at me, “Isn’t that all just a bit much?” The implication was that my enthusiasm was too much, that I was coming off as a try-hard or a show-off. I laughed it off at the time, but it stung. It’s such a shitty thing to say to someone else.

Not that I don’t recognise the impulse. I was reminded of it today because I actually found myself thinking the same thing towards someone else. It’s someone who has newly joined a community I’m in, and this person is 100% ALL ABOUT IT ALL THE TIME. I saw yet another social media post from this person and felt the urge to roll my eyes. It’s like their enthusiasm is so huge that it feels like they’re performing it, to shame the rest of us who aren’t that gung-ho. Obviously as a senior member of the group, I’m over such huge public displays, right? It marks them as such a n00b. And what are they trying to do, take over from those of us who’ve been involved a lot longer?

And then I realised I don’t want to be a person who thinks like that. So what if someone is head-over-heels in love with a new thing? GOOD FOR THEM! It’s so easy to become jaded and “over it.” Why should someone liking something a lot threaten me? Why should it make me want to take them down a peg? I remember how that feels. It’s crappy. Maybe this is maturity – realising that I’d rather be someone who is supportive and kind and builds people up, than someone who has to protect her position by cutting others down.

Anyway, just rambling…

Abed