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Indiana Court Clears Gay Couple to Adopt. Sometimes my home state makes me proud. Of course, the article does quote some idiot from the “American Family Association of Indiana” as saying: “When same-sex couples adopt, they are making a conscious decision to deny that child a mother or a father. Both play an important role, and kids do best when they have a mom and dad.” I take it this jerk also objects to all the hetero single parents in the world.

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  1. Uh, sorry to be an idiot and a jerk, but I think the guy you quoted above has a sensible point. I bet a lot of hetero single parents would also agree that single parenting is less than ideal. Just my $.02 …

  2. Well, of course it is. But lots of people “choose” to be single parents – leaving abusive spouses for example. I don’t think they should be made to feel guilty for not conforming to an ideal. There are lots of kids who weren’t raised by a mom and a dad – or were raised by a grandparent, or two sets of parents, or an extended family – that don’t turn out damaged. So why stigmatize any happy and loving family?

  3. And a lot of people choose not to be single parents but they are because their spouse has been killed in a stupid war!

  4. Well… that’s true too, I suppose. But maybe you’re dragging in one too many inflammatory topics here, Sara. 🙂

  5. I think there are two separate issues here. First, it sounds like you’re rejecting the quoted guy’s stated motive and attributing his stated position to evil motives. It’s not fair to insult him for motives that you’re imposing on him (if you are). Second, I certainly agree that there are lots of families that aren’t ideal but are still good, loving families. But the criteria for “not deserving of stigma” and “not a great place to stick an adopted child” are completely separate bars. Leaving an abusive spouse happens, and is a good thing; but the resulting family will (and should, I think) be much lower on the list of “families where we should adopt in a new child” than the many families with loving parents who are still together. This isn’t about stigmatizing families, it’s about starting out kids in the best situation, when we’re artificially engineering their future lives. Sorry, I’ll get off my soapbox now!

  6. Well, it’s difficult to get much context out of it given that they only quoted him saying that one bit. However, the bit immediately preceding is from the dissenting judge, who says that his interpretation of Indiana law is that no unmarried couple, regardless of gender or sexual orientation, is allowed to file a joint petition for adoption of a child. That’s immediately followed by this guy’s quote, which he *does* qualify with the couple’s genders. I can completely respect the argument that only married couples should raise kids. I don’t agree with it – and I think it’s completely dotty, and unenforceable, and prejudiced – but as long as the person holding it isn’t a hypocrite, I can see where they’re coming from. But this guy’s quote sounded to me as if he were singling out prospective gay parents for intentionally hurting their child by not providing parents of both genders. Which is ridiculous, because there are tons of families that don’t conform to the norm. And following on from that, it would seem that he’s saying that a married heterosexual couple, regardless of intent, financial status, and parenting ability, is more qualified to raise a child than two gay parents who desperately want to start a family and can obviously afford to go the stressful adoption route. Which is what got me ranting. The gender of the parents is only one factor out of MANY that influence a child’s life. Are you really saying that it’s the MOST important, and that it should be the deal breaker for adopting kids? I mean, look at the Snook and me. I know numerous gay couples that would make a hundred times better parents than us. It just seems unfair that this guy would approve of us and not them, simply because of our genders. (I hate buying into a system that gives me privileges I don’t want at others’ expense. This is also why I was against getting married for a long time. It’s also why I’d happily donate eggs to any gay friends that want them once the legal issues get sorted out.)

  7. He’s also assuming that having a ‘mom’ or a ‘dad’ is the only way to learn to be male or female in the world. A gay or lesbian couple with close friends and relatives – brothers, sisters, uncles, aunts, parents etc, of the opposite sex can make sure that their child(ren) have good role models. Why is it always assumed that we live our lives in some kind of “gay bubble?”

  8. Okay, i’ll try to refrain from ranting, but for all those who think having two heterosexual parents is ideal, well, guess what, we don’t live in an ideal world. Isn’t having someone (whether that be a single person or a gay couple) who would make a loving and capable parent far better than a child being bounced from foster home to foster home?

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