SPIDER!
When I got home tonight, I thought I’d check on my veggie patch. So I stepped out the backdoor and, la-di-da, nearly walked headfirst INTO THIS.

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The massive web spans from the lilli pilli tree across the path, and Mr. Spider is sitting directly at face height. His body is over an inch long, easy. As I stood frozen and time slowed to a crawl, I was able to see that he was merrily cocooning some unfortunate insect (a bumblebee? a cockroach?) to save for dinner. I slowly backed into the house and grabbed my camera. I got as close as I dared to get the shot, then scampered back in to google spider identification charts. Mr. Spider looked kinda hairy, so my first guess was that he was a Huntsman. (They look evil but aren’t, really.) But I quickly discovered that HUNTSMAN SPIDERS DON’T MAKE WEBS! So I tweeted for help, and luckily Issy came to my rescue. It’s a Garden Orb Weaving Spider. Oh, and judging by the size he’s probably actually a she. I’m going to call her Shelob. She’ll be there until the Snook gets home and prods her with a stick, I imagine.