Happy Valentine’s Day! The Snook and I celebrated with a night on the town. I did three new things that I’d never done before:
What did you do?
I decided to make some treats for the office tomorrow to celebrate Valentine’s Day. I did the usual Rice Krispie recipe but substituted pink marshmallows (strawberry flavor) instead of plain. That wasn’t quite pink enough, so I also stirred in a fair bit of red food coloring. They’re quite gruesome now, don’t you think? I also stirred in a bag of white chocolate chips which I hoped would remain whole but instead they just melted into the rest of the cereal. It’s fine; they still taste good. The hardest part was punching the damn things out with the heart-shaped cookie cutter. I tried to do it while they were still warm (so I could mush the leftover bits back together to make more treats) but they cooled rapidly and I had a hell of a time cutting them out. Still, they’re kinda cute and it’s always fun to put the whole office into sugar shock first thing Friday morning…
Before anybody sends it to me, yes, I’ve seen the story about how Dr. Atkins was supposedly obese. To be honest, I’m not really convinced by either side’s arguments there. The health information was leaked by a “pro-vegetarian” group with an obvious bias, but then again, the Atkins people have a financial interest in protecting his reputation. It’s confusing. Also, if he really did weigh that much, did they doctor the photos they used on his books? Because he certainly doesn’t look that fat in them.
At any rate, y’all shouldn’t worry about me. I had my blood pressure checked yet again last week and my doctor pronounced it “excellent”. Unfortunately I’m still a chunker, but I’m a lot less of a chunker than I was two years ago. I’ve got a new personal trainer who’s started me on a weightlifting routine. My body-fat percentage is a shocker – How can a third of my body be fat? That’s ridiculous – but we’re working on that. I’m even drinking protein shakes with milk now to speed recovery in my new badass muscles. Also, the Snook and I have each eaten our weight in cherry tomatoes in the past two weeks so we’re chock full o’ vitamin goodness. In summary: Don’t worry, kids; we’re not gonna keel over and hit our heads on the sidewalk anytime soon.
Crud. Not only did the Herald not publish my letter, they sent me a really stupid response too.
My Letter:
As an Atkins dieter myself (and twenty kilos lighter because of it), I’d like to say thanks for your great even-handed article. Unfortunately Mr. Matthews got one fact glaringly wrong – the Atkins plan does NOT instruct dieters to eliminate all carbs from their diets. This is impossible. Instead you are urged to reduce your daily intake of carbs to 20 grams for the first two weeks, after which you start increasing gradually. Atkins’s detractors (who rarely seem to have read his books) often imagine that we eat nothing but steak and eggs at every meal. Trust me; even at 20 grams you can still eat several cups of vegetables a day… You just can’t have them in the form of a salad sandwich.
Their Reply:
Many thanks for the information. The article came from a UK newspaper. The column accompanying it did make the point it was a low, rather than no-carb diet.
How crappy is that? I was responding to this direct quote from the article: “To trigger this effect, Atkins dieters are instructed to begin by eliminating all carbohydrates from their diet, forcing their bodies to get energy by burning up fat reserves instead.” It clearly says “all”. That’s a MISTAKE, and it’s exactly the kind of MISINFORMATION that leads to knee-jerk negative reactions. Grrr. I might have to send them another message.
Max asks the question: “What things do you dislike that you’re not supposed to?” My answers would be Radiohead, William Gibson novels, animé, Nigella Lawson, tea, sushi, foreign arthouse films, and that whole nebulous category of music that we Hoosiers simply call “techno”. Sad but true.
I made a couple loaves of Zucchini Bread last week for my co-workers and it turned out really well. Some of them wanted the recipe, so here it is.(Adapted from Better Homes and Gardens New Cook Book)
Ingredients:
1-1/2 cups all-purpose flour
1 tsp ground cinnamon
1/2 tsp baking soda
1/4 tsp baking powder
1/4 tsp salt
1/4 tsp ground nutmeg
1 cup sugar
1 cup finely shredded, unpeeled zucchini
1/4 cup cooking oil
1 egg
1/4 tsp finely shredded lemon peel
1. First mix all the dry ingredients together in a bowl: flour, cinnamon, baking soda, baking powder, salt, and nutmeg.
2. In other bowl combine the wet ingredients: sugar, shredded zucchini, cooking oil, egg, and lemon peel. (For the zucchini, I just trim off the ends and then attack them with a grater.) Mix well, then add in the dry ingredients. Stir it til it’s all moistened as best you can. It’ll be super lumpy. The wetness will really depend on how watery your particular zucchini were.
3. Grease the bottom and 1/2 inch up the sides of your loaf pan. (Not all the way up the sides, because otherwise when you take the bread out it’ll fall. This way it sticks a little bit and doesn’t collapse.) Spoon in your batter and then chuck it in a 350°F oven for 55 to 60 minutes. Check for doneness by inserting a toothpick close to the center. When it comes out clean, the bread is done!
I cool the bread in the pan on a rack until it’s touchable; then I slide a knife around the edges and pop the loaf out. Then I let that cool for a little while longer on the rack. It’s best if you can actually wrap it in foil and let it sit overnight (it’s easier to cut that way), but I think it tastes best warm from the oven smothered in butter, so it’s up to you.
1. What drinking water do you prefer — tap, bottle, purifier, etc.?
At home we have a Brita water filter jug, but really we use it more for the coldness than the filtration. (As evidenced by the fact that we only recently changed the filter for the first time… over a year after we bought it.) At work I drink tap water.
2. What are your favourite flavor of chips?
It’s been sooooo long since I had chips. (Long enough that it feels weird to call them that.) I used to be addicted to Cool Ranch Doritos back in college. Here I love Kettle Chips, especially the sea-salt-and-black-pepper and lime-and-black-pepper varieties. In England I even enjoyed salt and vinegar crisps. (I avoided all their weird meat flavoured ones though.)
3. Of all the things you can cook, what dish do you like the most?
Chicken and noodles with mashed potatoes. Unfortunately it’s got seven zillion grams of carbs, so I haven’t had it in ages.
4. How do you have your eggs?
It used to be strictly fried, but nowadays I like ’em all different kinds of ways. I like scrambled eggs and omelettes, and the mere thought of poached eggs and hollandaise sauce has me drooling. I’ve also finally learned to like hard-boiled eggs. I’ve started boiling up several at a time and keeping them in the fridge to take to work for snacks. I still like fried eggs too, especially with Worcestershire sauce (which the Snook introduced me to). The only egg I don’t like is a soft-boiled one. It just kinda grosses me out.
5. Who was the last person who cooked you a meal? How did it turn out?
Snookums cooked dinner Tuesday night: lamb chops, baked pumpkin, cauliflower mash, and asparagus. Soooo good. He’s such a better cook than me.
I reached the end of my patience with the pantry moth infestation. We’d thrown everything out that we thought they might be in but they just didn’t go away. So today the Snook and I went on the offensive. We took everything out of our cupboard and checked each and every package for tell-tale grubs or webs. They were in packets of tea; they were in pasta; they were even in the sugar. (Luckily they were mostly in things we haven’t eaten since we started Atkins.) All of it got chucked. Then I cleaned and wiped the shelves and walls with bleach. The remaining food is now back in place and a lovely little packet of moth balls is resting in the corner. We will be victorious; I swear it.
Since the pantry offensive left us feeling all grown-up and responsible, we decided to tackle two other problem areas in the house: the fridge and the stairs. While the Snook scrubbed gooey spilled soy sauce off the fridge shelves, I dragged the vacuum up and down the stairs while laboriously scrubbing the dust out of the carpet. Suddenly our steps are two shades lighter. We’re such pigs. But at least today we’re mature, slightly less disgusting pigs.
Somebody left a box of fortune cookies on the table in our office kitchen, so I grabbed one. My fortune:
Brisbane’s cost of doing business is cheaper than Sydney. See how much you could save with our supply chain analysis offer.
A crummy commercial!
