London’s new open-air public urinals have finally been unveiled. Here’s what gets me about this: women don’t pee all over doorways and walls. Why the hell do men have to do it? We actually have to cater to Neanderthals who think that just because they can piss standing up, they should be allowed to do it anywhere? No! No, I say. Get rid of the urinals and start ticketing the bastards. Post their pictures on websites that state “I am not toilet trained.” Create a database so women can look up their dates and find out of they’re a public pee-er. Electrify doorways known to attract these fools so they learn to hold it. Why the hell can’t you learn to go before you leave the pub, like any normal female?