London’s new open-air public urinals have finally been unveiled. Here’s what gets me about this: women don’t pee all over doorways and walls. Why the hell do men have to do it? We actually have to cater to Neanderthals who think that just because they can piss standing up, they should be allowed to do it anywhere? No! No, I say. Get rid of the urinals and start ticketing the bastards. Post their pictures on websites that state “I am not toilet trained.” Create a database so women can look up their dates and find out of they’re a public pee-er. Electrify doorways known to attract these fools so they learn to hold it. Why the hell can’t you learn to go before you leave the pub, like any normal female?

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  1. Oh sweet jesus, how I love you!!!!

  2. Thanks. I just don’t see why we have to make a provision for men to piss in the streets. Women don’t do it!

    (Side topic but sorta related: Why do all men have ridiculously small bladders? I’m formulating a theory that society, by turning a blind eye to the men-urinating-everywhere phenomenon, has actually caused men’s bladders to remain at a child-like size. Women learn from an early age to hold it, so by the time we’re adults we have no need to relieve ourselves in public.)

    Can you tell this is one of my pet peeves?

  3. Amen!! My theory is that most guys are just WAITING for an opportunity to take their package out in public. Must like the fresh air on their genitals. Kinda like a toddler boy who runs off when you’re in the middle of changing his diaper. Essentially, IMHO, they haven’t changed from that era in their lives.

    PS: I like all of your suggestions

  4. Good point. Then they should start wearing kilts. 🙂

  5. If chicks could easily piss in public, they’d do it too. Just another case of penis envy!

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