You know, sometimes when you go to the gym mad, you just come out madder. Tonight’s list of complaints:

  • The ladies’ locker room has a fat mirror in it. You women know what I’m talking about. The kind that makes you look bulgy in all the wrong places when you look in it. It’s right near the door, too, so I see it right at the beginning and end of my workout. The damn thing is so distorted it should be in a Funhouse. It’s not a very inspiring sight.
  • I had to rearrange my usual routine because some scary woman was monopolizing the inner thigh adductor machine. You know, the one where your legs are spread way out. Except she wasn’t actually using it; she was just sitting in it. Spread-eagled. Like she was at the gynecologist.
  • My left ear is mutant. It’s freakishly small. My new iPod earbuds were too big and kept falling out, so I got some of those sporty ones that curve over the back of your ear. They fit fine on my right ear. They do not fit fine on my left ear. In fact, they stay in for about two seconds before popping out. Can you get plastic surgery on an ear??
  • I wish fitness results were correlated to how red and sweaty one’s face gets. I’d be the frickin’ Queen of that place.
  • I’m not a gym size-ist. In fact, I think less healthy individuals (and I include myself in that group) should almost have priority on the equipment. However, when you’re so big that you literally have to squeeze into a piece of equipment, perhaps you shouldn’t be using it just yet. Yes, big fat man in a little T-shirt, I’m talkin’ to you. That abdominal machine will never be the same.
  • Every time I swear I won’t check my weight, and I always do. And it makes me so mad! It keeps moving up and down. One day I’ll lose a pound, the next I’ll gain it back with interest. What the hell am I doing this for?

Whew. I feel better now that’s off my chest.


Add yours →

  1. Kris, I’ve been skulking about your site for a while (I found you via Brigita’s site) and have felt a bit shy about posting. My empathy to your gym rant overcame that, however. I have always felt that the gym is just one big fat mirror… I don’t need to see reflections of myself as I jiggle along on the equipment next to testosterone pumped men and anorexic women. That’s why I prefer running and biking in the great outdoors; much better scenery. Do you ever get out to the botanical gardens in Sydney? I would think that a walk or bike ride through them would cure the gym blues.

  2. I often want to bitch about stuff that pisses me off at the gym, esp. the dumb people I run into, but instead I keep it all inside and use it as fuel to work out harder. I know it sounds simple, and like something one’s mom would say, but…

    Ignore people. Ignore the mirrors. And especially ignore the scale. Stay far far away from it. No matter how much the scale tempts you, do not step foot on it. It will only bring you down and discourage you from your main objective, which is being healthy. This doesn’t, of course, happen overnight.

    I’ve been feeling pretty discouraged, too, Kris. I haven’t lost any weight, either, but the only reason I know this is because I had a doctor’s appointment yesterday and they took my weight. I’d actually GAINED three pounds. The only way I can make myself feel better about that is to tell myself that muscle weighs more than fat. It’s become my mantra.

    “Muscle weighs more than fat, muscle weighs more than fat.”

    I’ve also been known to chant, “Healthy Choice meals taste good, Healthy Choice meals taste good,” when faced with the grim prospect of lunch. 😉

    Chin-up, Kris! We’ll show ’em!

  3. Oh, and I’d had the same problem with my iPod earphones… They fall out of my ear, like, every five minutes. They’re far better than the alternative, though, which is normal earphones… Those give me a headache. I find that if I hold the iPod a certain way, or prop it up on the machine correctly, the earphones won’t be as apt to fly out because pressure isn’t being put on the wires.

  4. the women (and men!) that spend more time preening and posing than actually working out make me crazy.

    and how about the people that insist on having a conversation with their friend that’s working out clear across the room? unfortunately, my local Y doesn’t have any background radio on to drown out the inane conversation.

    then there’s the medical students that work out around the same time i do (early afternoon). they still brag about how much they didn’t study just like the pre-med nuts did back at school.

    we’re all very impressed.

  5. While I disagrere with you on your rules for priority on the machines (first come, first serve–but when you get on the machine you better damn well use it and not sit there watching the TVs in the room, you stupid old man who works out in a dress shirt and 1988-black Reeboks…ooops, that’s MY gym), I SO feel your pain, Kris…)I go along with the “use it as fuel for the workout” advice. Nothing drives you through a workout like spite and malice!

  6. I’d like to add to the complaints with this one: all I can say is, you’ve never lived until you’ve had to endure the men’s room at a gym. Now, I’m not a prude, nor am I ashamed of the human body, but that doesn’t mean that I *like* looking at some retiree’s flabby nakedness. I mean, JEEZ, use a towel, that’s what they’re for.

  7. Awww, you guys are great. I’m just having a small crisis of willpower, you know? I mean, the first week or so, I was cruising on the novelty of it. After that, I went because I was enjoying the image of being someone who “went to the gym”. But now… Now all that’s gone. I need some kind of observable result to keep me going. Otherwise my mind starts to wander and I start thinking that it’s better just to do what makes me happy (and the treadmill does NOT make me happy). I’ve just hit a wall or something. It’s been a month and the changes I’m noticing are minimal at best.

    I guess I just push through it, right? Stop checking the scale (although that’s incredibly difficult). Snookums made me feel better last night. He said he noticed that I felt stronger, and that even if the changes that were happening weren’t visible, he could still tell that they were happening inside. Which was nice.

    Tricia – I’m so glad you decided to join in! Welcome aboard. The only problem is that the Botanic Gardens are quite a ways away from where I live (Newtown). The advantage of the gym is that it’s only a two minute walk away. And as you can see from my complaints, right now I’m just looking for excuses not to go. If I had to travel any further, I’d probably just skip it. 🙁

  8. Oh, Moire – I finally got my iPod case. It’s got a belt clip, which is really nice. It’s the deluxe one from J.R. Hill. So far, I recommend it.

  9. Did you take measurements? Like, real ones – not squeeze the tape tight enough to cut off circulation ones? Because, maybe by next week, you could re-measure. That is such a boost.

    Let me tell you- I had a huge disappointment this week. I walked about 15 miles last week, stayed within points and did a few days of strength training, and GAINED a POUND and a HALF at weight watchers. GOOD LORD! I was really frustrated (and really, I really really mean really), but I shook it off while realizing there are just ups and downs. Hopefully, this week will be different, but if not, I am trying to think about the general health changes and benefits I am getting.

  10. Nah, I didn’t. I’ve been hoping I’ll just notice my clothes getting looser, but so far nothing.

    You’re so right, TD. We should form some sort of an inspiration group to keep each ourselves going. Hey Moire, you can be in it too! It’ll be like those “Life Makeover Groups” on Oprah. And then when we all meet our goals, we’ll go on Oprah and cry and hug and she’ll hook us up with new wardrobes and Sketchers. Man, I love that show. 🙂

  11. Yay! I’m definitely in, then. I love new shoes! 😉

  12. I need to get me one of those iPod cases, but I was waiting for the neoprene version to come out. I need to waterproof my iPod because between getting soaked while waiting for the bus in the rain, and getting soaked as I sweat all over it at the gym, my iPod could possibly drown one of these days.

  13. I must say that I agree with you whole-heartedly. Somedays going to the gym seems to have the opposite effect that it should–I leave feeling worse.

    And believe me, the guys ‘room is no better. All those butch guys roaming the streets? Get them in the locker area and talk about turning into big babies. Either that or their egos seem to inflate even more. (Not that I am perfect. I’m sure I have my own gym moments.)

    Well, thanks for the rant time!

  14. Hi Thomas! Welcome aboard. Yeah, you guys are rapidly convincing me that it’s no better on the opposite side of the gender divide. In fact, it’s probably worse. Nobody at the gym bats an eye when I only bench press 40 lbs., but I can see where guys would really judge each other over things like that.

    Anyway, judging by your bio page, we have a lot in common. I look forward to hearing from you more often!

  15. Big Fat Man in a sma

    June 17, 2003 — 9:01 am

    Hi Kris
    I’ve just been looking through your site, very interesting and informative but I’m afraid I have a confession.

    I think I might be that big fat man in a little T – shirt that you referred to, in my defence I wish to state that I was merely trying to fix that adominal machine although after your comments it seemed I failed. I’m sorry !!
    As for the T-shirt, it was a bad laundry day and my T-shirt shrunk in the wash.

    Sometimes, everything goes wrong!!

    Keep up with the most interesting site !
    Big fat man in a small T-shirt

  16. Hello! Nah, I don’t think you could’ve been him. That was well over a year ago and I haven’t seen him recently, so either he’s quit going there or he’s made some great progress. (If it was you, congratulations!) 🙂

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