They’re just now broadcasting the Grammy Awards here in Australia. The Snook and I were half-watching the “Lady Marmalade” performance when I asked, “Where the hell is Christina Aguilera? She was billed as performing, and she hasn’t come out yet and the song’s almost over!” And the Snook said, “Isn’t that her over on the far left?” Me: “No, that’s some black chick.” Him: “I think that’s her.” Me (squinting): “Holy crap! That is her! Geez, lay off the self-tanner!” Seriously, she looks scarier every time I see her.