A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: “That’s the ugliest baby that I’ve ever seen. Ugh!” The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: “The driver just insulted me!” The man says: “You go right up there and tell him off รขโ‚ฌโ€œ go ahead, I’ll hold your monkey for you.”

And that, my friends, is the official funniest joke in the UK. Hey, it made me laugh. This site collected jokes from people for over a year and asked visitors to rate how funny they were. Personally, I thought the overall winner sucked, but your mileage may vary. Oh, and some of their statistics are interesting. (Tara D, you gotta work a duck into your act, I’m tellin’ ya!)


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  1. Dem’s da jokes, people.

    You know, I kind of believe that jokes are for people that aren’t funny. How do you all feel about that?

  2. I tend to agree, based on the fact that I can’t remember you ever having told me a joke ever. And you’re a comedian! A funny one! So maybe there’s some truth to that.

    (Although on second thought, maybe it’s just our generation. I mean, fifty years ago Milton Berle would’ve been the height of humor, and he was all about the jokes, right?)

    That being said, my other new favorite joke was just posted to Metafilter recently. It goes:

    This guy goes into a grocery store, picks up some milk, donuts, beer, and a can of Cheez Wiz. He walks up to the checkout counter and puts his purchases on the belt.

    The cashier scans his groceries, looks up at him, smiles, and goes, “I bet you’re single, aren’t you?”

    The guy laughs a little, and says, “Yeah, how’d you know?”

    The cashier says, “‘Cause you’re UGLY.”

  3. Check out Bob & Tom’s website. They were discussing this today and had people call in w/ their jokes. Speaking of, we saw Rodney Carrington last night. Very worth it.

    If he comes to Australia….. ๐Ÿ™‚

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