LOTR: The Two Towers was good. Very good. I had read a lot of reviews beforehand and was expecting to be put off by some stuff (bad blue-screening, inappropriate dwarf humor, etc.), but honestly, none of that bothered me at all. Gimli’s orc-killing contest with Legolas was one of my favorite parts of the book, and I would’ve missed it if they’d left it out. The Ents weren’t anything like I’d imagined, but I still thought they looked good. (The Snook thinks they would’ve been cooler as stop-motion animation, but he was still a fan.) Even frickin’ Liv Tyler didn’t bother me so much. (Although, what was that business about her and Aragorn, like, breaking up before he left? And why didn’t we get to see her knitting the stupid flag, since that’s all she does in the damn book? Okay, I guess she did bother me a little.) All in all, I liked: all the ass-kicking, everything Legolas did, the Ents, and Gollum. I didn’t like: Aragorn’s nasty hair. Couldn’t the king of men take a shower every now and then? (Falling off a cliff into a river doesn’t count.) I’m sure Eowyn could lend him some conditioner. (That said, I wouldn’t say no to some Aragorn/Legolas slash fiction, if you know what I mean, and I think you do.)

Oh, and did anyone else decide that Smeagol was not, in fact, a hobbit, but a house elf? He looked disturbingly like Dobby.


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  1. BTW, my comments should be taken with a gigantic grain of salt since i haven’t actually read the book. dad informed me that the orc-killing contest was actually in the book when i went to go see it with him yesterday. i really need to step up my reading! ๐Ÿ˜‰

  2. Heh. That’s cool, there was other Gimli stuff that wasn’t in the book (like him being unable to see over the wall, and the whole dwarf-tossing incident). I still thought it was pretty funny, just because Gimli’s funny and his friendship with my boyfriend – I mean, Legolas – is one of my favorite parts. It’s also one of the few bits I remember. Seriously, don’t mistake me for an expert. I’ve read it, like, twice, and I still had to ask the Snook about 50 questions. I’m just not a big Tolkien fangirl. As Dahl once put it, there aren’t enough funny bits in his story. I guess that’s why I liked the one or two that there are. ๐Ÿ™‚

  3. word. now i’m off to give my boyfriendโ€”i mean Aragornโ€”a bath. ๐Ÿ˜‰

  4. Alas, no boyfriends left for me…although any of the hobbits would top me in height so I’ll pick Merry. ๐Ÿ™‚

    I thought Gollum was great. Linda said that she’d seen a promo that was pushing for the actor to be nominated for an oscar. I’m sure that will raise questions. The only thing that I didn’t like (because I am an ubernerd and have read it many times) was that Frodo and Sam were taken all the way to Gondor. Faramir was supposed to make the correct decision that Boromir couldn’t until it was too late. But like I said, it’s because I’m a nerd.

    And yes, Gollum is totally a house elf, but soooo good!

    Did I mention I went to Border’s at midnight to get the special edition of Fellowship? Yeeeeeah, I was the only girl in a sea of boyfriends (and not of the Legolas kind).

  5. I too thought it was good. I’ve read it quite a few times and can forgive almost all the little changes, except one. Theoden kicks arse in the book, and he’s somewhat pathetic in the movie, deferring to Aragorn far too much. For instance when he’s about to kill Wormtongue and Aragorn blocks his sword. Theoden himself decides to spare him in the book. I think Peter Jackson may actually be claiming Aragorn for his own boyfriend.
    Oh and Frodo annoys me. There are other ways to portray the hardship of his task without him having to whinge about it every 5 minutes.
    Other than that, a damn fine flick!

  6. I agree with what Steve and Jenny say. Especially Faramir got kind of shortchanged. I also was hoping to see more of Treebeard and the Ents. But what there was of them I thought was pretty neat. Gollum was great, and the reworking of the Arwen stuff was impressive. I guess I am crazy, but I mainly wish it was longer. They kind of wrapped it up a little quick. They built the tension so masterfully but they didn’t really take much time to savor the turning of the tide. And that was the Ents’ time to shine too. Oh well–I guess the best stuff is still in your own imagination. Maybe it’s better that way anyway.

  7. I thought the movie ROCKED!

    Even though I’ve read the books, and know what happens, I was on the edge of my seat the entire time. Justin kept having to grab my leg so I’d stop my incessant jiggling. One of the things i liked the most about the movie had to be Smeagol. The voice acting was spectacular, and the CGI almost flawless. I think it’s safe to say that this is the first fully-CGI character that didn’t distract (or detract) from the rest of the film. And yeah, he looks a little like Dobby… But Dobby sucked ten times over, compared to Gollum.

    Speaking of slash… This movie was just absolutely teeming with homoerotic subtext. Every five minutes, I was deliciously squirming in my seat, imagining all the lovely slash fic available for me to peruse at work come Monday morning. I even discovered that Rhysenn, of Irresistible Poison fame, has written some LOTR slash.

    Sigh. I love the internet. ๐Ÿ™‚

  8. Dammit. Hey, Kris. Could you possibly fix my horrible HTML? ;P

  9. Thanks! I don’t know what came over me. ๐Ÿ™‚

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