Everything I Need to Know in Life I Learned From Flo on The Amazing Race:

  • When things get tough, pretend to throw in the towel. Your teammates will then have to beg you to continue, which puts you in a position of power. It also means you can absolve yourself of any responsibility towards the final outcome.
  • Being tired is a totally valid excuse for being a bitch.
  • Never, ever carry your own backpack.
  • Being young means you can outrun everybody else in a footrace, except when you can’t, but that’s only because you’re so tired and put upon.
  • A great way to relieve stress is to throw a helmet. Trust me, you’ll feel better for it.
  • When faced with an obstacle or challenge, always make the man do it.
  • Never stay in a hotel that charges less than 25 euros a night.
  • There’s always time for flirting, even when your partner is totally supporting your ass. Of course, that’s his job!
  • Guys can’t resist a crying girl, so do it a lot. You’ll get your way.
  • No matter how bitchy and whiny and terrible you are, a small “Sorry” will always clear the slate.

As the Snook put it tonight, “The awful paradox is that no one deserves the money less than Flo or more than Zac. Whatever. (If she had any class at all she would’ve given her share to him.) Did you catch the fact that in the closing shot, she was the only person sitting up on her partner’s shoulders? He was still carrying her ass. What a perfect summation of their twisted relationship. She makes me embarrassed to be a girl. Meanwhile Teri and Ian won my grudging respect, and Ken and Gerard nearly made me cry. I’m glad they had such a good experience together. And that’s all I gots to say about that.


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  1. Well said! Heard by me like 10 times during the ep: If Flo wins, I am never going to watch this show again. Ever. Well, of course I lied, but still. My fave Flo moment was when she promised not to give up anymore and then proceeded to do so 5 seconds later. God, I hate her so much. Her whiny voice sucks so bad. And Zack, jeesh, I would marry him in a sec… greatest guy ever, poor fella. Well, I guess not *that* poor anymore though, right?

  2. meeeeeow! but so so true. why couldn’t she carry her own bag? why did she give up at practically every task in at least the last 3 episodes? she even had a go at zach at that fountain in seattle, i mean they found it pretty soon after right? it wasn’t 100 miles out of the way.
    give the million to zach! after all, he WAS her partner/motivator/butler.. and you know after all that, i think she still got her twin!

  3. that is so true! but there’s also another one – go out of your way to avoid tasks because you find them too scary, and then you have to do the more time-consuming tasks… then blame your partner for screwing up your position in the race because they can’t read a map quickly enough…

  4. amy’s rant: have people already discussed her goddamned boobs hanging out all over the place?! i had trouble getting past that, and all the annoying stereotypes (among the others, i think flo is the worst – hello, let’s cast thee most skinny-waisted, big-boobed, fat-lipped, bitchy [email protected]$%ng female we can find and make sure she wears tight tank tops a whole lot…) she and teri make it humiliating to be a woman. i could write a paper on it if i’d been able to tolerate watching the show more.

    this is why i have such a problem with this whole reality tv business. sure, it sucks you in and can be addictive…but it’s because these people are pathetic! i’m not even sure what stupid survivor we’re on, kris, but all i know is that at the beginning of the season, the commercials all featured some scantily clad sluts and glorified the sex aspect of the show. same thing now with good ol’ grotesque fear factor – i accidentally saw it a few days ago, and the last round had two chicks who totally looked like dirty strippers. and there were all these lazy, long shots of them riding these HORSES in tight jeans and again, tank tops…while they got “introspective” about what to do with the stupid money they won. (HORSES, for chrissake!)

    i hope kids don’t watch this shit! what a waste of time. it’s ridiculous. the bachelor? now the bachelorette? now fox’s joe millionaire? if this is what pop culture has turned into, we’re breeding an entirely new generation of reality tv robots who’ll have a new american dream to win a million bucks by eating rotten larvae, or to win a wife by first lying to her about everything. i’m scared!

    (jeez, whatever happened to just waiting for your chance to play plinko and then hit the big wheel on TPIR?)

  5. and P.S. the amazing race would be a lot more “amazing” if it were more like MIDNIGHT MADNESS, and the teams actually had to figure out where the hell to go, instead of being told. oh nevermind, that wouldn’t jive – the networks think people who can actually use their brains and would win are too ugly for this kind of t.v., right?

    and this from the girl who’s moving to hollywood soon…

  6. I didn’t know you were even watching it, Sis! I thought you hated this stuff. (Well, you obviously do, but I thought you hated it enough not to watch it.)

    Did she really end up with the twin? Does anyone know?

    I’d go on The Price is Right in a heartbeat. My favorite game was always the little yodelling man that climbed the mountain.

  7. Man, I’m so lost. I totally don’t watch any of this stuff because of all the same reasons Amy stated. I always get so mad. It’s like, any time you turn on the television, on every channel there’ll be some sort of “The Real World” -type derivative show. Buh. Sucks.

  8. The twins did an interview with The Straits Times a couple of weeks ago. Part of the article discussed Derek/Drew’s (I can’t remember which one) relationship with Flo. In it he says how he never saw being highly strung or screechy, and that she’s not like that in real life, blah blah blah. He said they were dating long distance, seeing how things would work out for them.

    Of course, I’m not sure how much weight, if any should be given to a fluffy interview from The Straits Times entertainment section.

  9. Ugh. Look, she went there with Zac, somebody that she knew for a long time and that she was considering dating. If HE got fed up with her (and you know he did), why would any other guy who knew that then want to date her? I liked the twins a lot, but I never realized they were this dumb. (one of them, anyway)

    Then again, as the Snook pointed out, half a million is a pretty powerful incentive. “I’d at least date her for a while and hope for a really sweet birthday present,” was his actual phrase. I guess I can see that.

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