To love, honor, obey, and procreate…
Just when I was starting to think that getting married might not be inconsistent with my personal beliefs, Australian Prime Minister John Howard had to open his big, fat mouth and ruin it. In the political equivalent of a “Me too!” Usenet posting, he went on the record this week as saying he was against gay marriage and would try to legislate against it. “Marriage, as we understand it in our society,” he said, “is about children, having children, raising them, providing for the survival of the species.” What in the world does one thing have to do with the other? Is he honestly suggesting that the only valid marriages are ones that result in children? My Grandma got remarried in her fifties; should that have been outlawed? What about people who are sterile? What about those of us that just don’t want kids right now? (You better get busy, Brigita, Kristen, and Moire. If I don’t see each of you with a kid in nine months I’m going to report you to the Marriage Police!)
It’s funny because I would’ve been less upset if he had based this on religion. I still wouldn’t agree, but it’s an established viewpoint that a lot of folks share. As much as he’d like to imitate his best buddy George, though, Australians don’t like politicians who make decisions on social policy based on religious convictions. (It’s a refreshing change, let me tell you.) So he tries to couch it in terms of evolution. Hello? Survival of the species?? Last I checked there were about 6 billion of us on this planet, Johnny. I don’t think you need to put homo sapiens on the endangered list just yet. Besides, why should allowing gay people to legalize their unions have any effect on the rate of straight marriage or procreation? Would Bob and Mary Hetero suddenly place less importance on their kids if Chip and Reichen exchanged vows? Not friggin’ likely.
I know I’m in full-on rant mode here, but damn this pisses me off. I think I’ve gone completely anti-marriage again. It’s depressing to think that no matter how you justify it and what your wonderful reasons are, people like Howard will simply view you as one more statistic on “their” side. And no offense to the rest of y’all, but I’d sooner go raise 18 illegitimate crack babies in the woods than give John Howard one tiny bit of satisfaction or any opportunity to lump the two of us in the same demographic.