A useful excuse

Me: Hi, We’ve been trying repeatedly for two weeks to process your order but we still can’t get your card details to go through. I can’t hold the item any longer so I’m just going to cancel the order.
Her: Sorry, I was just at this big fire in Wollongong and my wallet fell into a big burning tree stump and my credit card was destroyed so I had to have it cancelled but they’re sending me a new one next week so if you can just hold it til then I’ll call you with the new number and you can try again…
Me: Riiiiiight.

I only wish I was joking. A burning tree stump.

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3 Comments

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  1. it’s too weird to be a lie.

  2. I left out the bit about how when it first didn’t go through, she said it was because she was going through a really nasty divorce and she was waiting for her ass of an ex-husband to put the money in her account, so could we please try again a week later, blah blah blah… So now I’ve got this whole story spun out in my head about how she torched his house.

  3. The most weird excuse I ever had for non-payment was a woman who was like “Oh, I meant to pay my bill but I came home and my mother had been murdered and there was blood all over the place and my credit card was ruined and her funds have been frozen and I have been too upset dealing with the police etc etc”. It really freaked me out. If it was true, too much information. If it wasn’t, that’s like, Johnny Fairplay evil.

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