Episode III – Revenge of the Amish

Episode III – Revenge of the Amish
Okay, so my mom’s been a quilter for a long time, and now that she’s not working full-time she’s had time to start cranking out quilts for everyone in the family. She told me a while ago that she was planning to make a wedding quilt for Rodd and me. About six months ago we had the following phone conversation.

Mom: Joe [her husband] and I were having an argument about your quilt the other day.
Me: Really? How weird. [Joe’s not a quilter.] What about?
Mom: Well, I had planned on making you a traditional-style quilt. But then we saw some Star Wars fabric in a store and he thinks you guys might like that better.
Me: [I can’t figure out what to do! I mean, DUDE, a Star Wars quilt? How cool would that be? But I don’t want to disappoint Mom. So instead I just hyperventilate into the phone.]
Mom: So I’m guessing you want the Star Wars thing then.
Me: Welllll… What if you used the Star Wars fabric but still did a traditional design? That would rock!
Mom: Yeah, that’s what I was thinkin’.

So she started the quilt. I didn’t hear much about it except for the occasional disturbing “I don’t know if you guys are gonna like this…” comment. Apparently she spent the past few weeks pulling out all the stops to get it finished in time to personally deliver it on this trip. Last Friday as soon as we got them and their suitcases unloaded into the apartment, out came the quilt. Quite frankly, we were speechless.

Revenge Quilt

Isn’t that the coolest, evillest patchwork quilt you’ve ever seen? The fabric was apparently printed as a tie-in for Revenge of the Sith, though what they thought people would do with it, I can’t imagine. I took more pictures.Here’s a side view. According to Mom, she hand-pieced the entire quilt top and then used her long-arm sewing machine to do the actual quilting.

Side view

This is a close-up of the central star motif. As you can see, she “fancy cut” all of the pieces to center the printed designs within them. (She also said this was a total bitch to do because the fabric wasn’t printed evenly.)

Central star

Here is a close-up of the “Vader helmet” pieces. You can clearly see the quilting lines looping all around the printed designs. (I can only imagine how time-consuming that was.) The orange sections are even more heavily-quilted, though I couldn’t get them to photograph very well. She said she used several thousand yards of thread on the thing.

Helmet pieces

And here are the pieces with the scary, glowing red eyes. It took me about ten minutes to realize that the word “REVENGE” also appears beneath the gothic “Vader.” I told Rodd that every morning when we wake up under this thing, we have to enact the “Noooooo!” scene from when Vader wakes up at the end.

Scary eyes

Mom also likes to personalize her quilts in very subtle ways. In this corner, she’s actually worked “Love, Mom 2006” into the actual stitching. Can you see it? Another corner has our names.

Love, Mom

All in all, I can see where you’d think the quilt was kind of, uh, disturbing. Me, I love it. Mom wasn’t a huge fan though, so she decided to make the backing fabric something completely different (so that we could turn it over if we were entertaining someone who wouldn’t find a Star Wars Darth Vader “flames of hell” revenge-themed quilt as cool as we do). So she used a really neat print of Chinese cranes against a black background. Also, for the bottom thread of the quilting she used a metallic gold thread that goes really nicely with the cranes.

Backing fabric

I think Mom was well into the construction of the quilt before she started poking around on eBay and realized just how much Star Wars items go for. (I discovered this when she stopped complaining about the non-traditional-ness of it and started casually mentioning how many hundreds of dollars people would pay for “this stuff.”) But there’s no way we’re selling this beauty. I’m sure she’d be interested in hearing from anybody seriously interested in commissioning one though, so drop me an e-mail if you want.


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  1. That is one bitchin’ quilt. What an act of love. So much thought and so much work. I’ll just go back to the socks I’m making for my daughter…

  2. OMG! oh my god…..wow……

  3. Me at 16: “Mooooooom, if you *really* loved me, you’d buy me a car!”

    Me at 31: “Mooooooom, if you *really* loved me, you’d make me a Rushmore [aka favorite movie evs]-themed quilt!”

    We can call of the So Best contestโ€”your mom just swept every category. ๐Ÿ™‚

  4. That is amazing. I think that I’d spend all day making the bed: first with one side of the quilt facing up and then with the other, deciding which one I loved looking at more. It’s gorgeous!

  5. My “Max Quilt” from my grandmother (every grandchild has one) is wonderful, but I admit it lacks the pure awesomeness of yours. I hope your mom gradually realizes what an incredible (and beautiful) keepsake she’s given you–so many people would LOVE to have this quilt!

  6. Haha! That’s so cool! I’m so jealous. ๐Ÿ™‚

  7. Oh My God! I hate Star Wars, well, I have no opinion but that is an AMAZINGLY intricate piece of craft! Can you pls tell your mum that she rocks the kasbah? No really.. that must have taken MONTHS!!!

  8. Great Quilt man its in the 80’s style

  9. The whole quilt rocks, but I’m completely impressed by the quilted-in personal message! The “love, mom” is so awesome. With that in there, you definitely can’t sell that thing on eBay! Not that you would…

  10. So amazingly best! Consider yourself very lucky.

  11. Cool, but not as cool as the one my mom made me. It has Star Wars, but Dinosaurs, Frankenstein, Snakes, Robots, an issue of Marvel Team-Up with BOTH Spider-Man AND the Fantastic Four, cookies and Milk, a Mummy, Frogs, plus a whole lot more, (and two empty squares with room for my “grown-up” likes: an electric guitar and a computer, to be added someday.)

  12. Hot damn. That’s just amazing! And she HAND pieced it? Incredible! She is obviously a really talented machine quilter as well. You’re so lucky!

  13. You mother is amazing! She really loves you…so much work.

  14. Lordy – what an amazing quilt.

  15. Wow. That is amazing!!! The wording in the corner must have taken her quite some time.

    Was looking for a Star Wars quilt for my son…don’t think I could afford one like this ๐Ÿ˜‰

  16. I have a six year old “Star Wars freak” who wants me to make him a quilt … bad idea showing him this one … he loves it … nothing else compares … being a “novice” quilter (who still needs a pattern!!)I say – your Mum is one talented lady. Enjoy it. xx

  17. Sweet! You’re keeping the dream alive! I’m making my son a SW quilt right now from vintage sheets and curtains. Its my weird way of saying “I love you kiddo”. Cool momsand their cool kids rock !

  18. Wow. WOW. That fabric is amazing..and the design, placement of the logos. The names and little personal touches in the quilting are cool. Not to mention this post is hilarious. I mean – Who the heck puts cranes on the back of a Star Wars quilt?? LOL greatest thing ever! The website I’m putting is a photo of my star wars/physics themed quilt taken today. The top of it is almost finished, but this photo doesn’t include the borders or corner blocks as they wouldn’t fit on my table. It’s pretty complex for my first project. Hope you enjoy my photo ๐Ÿ˜›

  19. This is the most awesome quilt I have ever seen. I came across looking for Star Wars designs for the quilt I want to make. This gave me some awesome ideas!

  20. My son is 42 and a collector, an avid collector of anything Star Wars.
    What a wonderful gift that would be for him…
    Christmas? How much time and money would you need to make one that relates back to the first Star Wars movie?

  21. Holy Crap. Greatest. Mum. Ever!

    I hope my son appreciates all the Star Wars and DC Comics themed things I make for him when he’s older. He’s only 2 :/

  22. I bought the 50 star wars fabric Squares quilt blocks from e-bay. I wanted to make a quilt for my grandson for christmas. Now I don’t have a clue how to arrange them. I know it will not be ready for Christmas but any clue as to how I can arrange and design these squares would be great.

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