I totally channeled Max: I turned to my sister as we were leaving the theater after seeing Jurassic Park 3 on Saturday and said, “I hope all those kids have screaming nightmares and their parents have to stay up all friggin’ night.” What is it with people bringing children to events that are clearly inappropriate for them? Here I also refer to my long-standing rant against London mothers pushing baby strollers the size of twin beds through areas that are otherwise congested with adults (i.e. the Tate Modern). Seriously, everytime I nearly get run over by one, I turn to Snookums and snarl, “Inappropriate stroller!” That’s our code word.

Anyway, the movie wasn’t great but it didn’t suck. It really was, as Ebert pointed out, a “nice little thrill machine.” I hate-hate-hated Tea Leoni, but everybody else was okay. I really liked the pterodactyl bit. (I’m pretty sure they’re real, Max.) For some reason, the Barney the Dinosaur bit made me giggle like a freak. But maybe that had something to do with the three scoops of Phish Food I scarfed right before the show…

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  1. J. and i can’t stand the people who hog the whole sidewalk and seem to expect us to get out of the way. usually we do (just because we’re that considerate), but grudgingly. i’m also not a very big fan of the parents who put their able bodied three and four year olds in the second half of the double stroller. it’s only a matter of years before the kid is sneaking out to smoke the reefer down at the abandoned train depot. 😉

    as for phish food–you’re singin’ my song, sistah! you can’t go wrong with the triple threat combo of marshmallow fluff, caramel, and fudge fish. too-licious!

  2. Thank you for that! Those people are the bane of every Cedar Point visit I’ve ever ever had. You’d think they’d know better than to use their ‘precious little bundles that have to go EVERYWHERE with them’ as battering rams. Because eventually, I just stop moving. 🙂

  3. Ooh, don’t get me started about the amusement parks. Again, little kids are a pain. But what’s even worse? The wheelchairs. Now don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying that some people don’t need ’em or that only people capable of walking on two legs should be allowed into Cedar Point. But when I watch a family of 10 use poor old Grandma as an excuse to jump the line at Space Mountain, it pisses me off. We spent Christmas ’99 in Orlando and the rampant wheelchair-line-jumping was just ridiculous. Inappropriate Grandmas can be just as bad as inappropriate strollers.

    A very non-politically correct idea: would it be so bad for a theme park to have, like, one weekend where no kids (under 18) are allowed? Or maybe just a few evenings scattered throughout the season. My Cedar Point trips would be 100% improved if I didn’t have to stand in line next to 14-year-old skanks puffing on Marlboro Reds and spitting on the concrete.

  4. back to movies, i very nearly had a heart attack when i saw a young couple bring their newborn into the late showing of “Traffic” a few months back. i understand parents’ need for adult entertainment (of the not so scantily clad variety), but that’s what sitters are for. and if they can afford to pay $8.50 a piece for tickets, i think they could shell out the extra $10 or so for the neighbor girl to come over and eat their snacks for two hours.

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