So yeah, Snookums and I saw “The Mummy Returns” last Friday. It sucked. I thought that the fighting was good, but the effects were crap and it wasn’t funny at all. I wanted to see more stuff like when Brendan Fraser scared off the Mummy with a cat. And where John Hannah joined the zombies and started chanting “Imhotep…” This movie didn’t have any of that. Don’t even get me started on “The Rock”, either. His part was about five minutes long and I certainly wasn’t very impressed. And the whole bit with him as the Scorpion King at the end featured the worst CGI work I’ve seen since “Tron”. It looked like a video game! And lastly, I couldn’t decide if Brendan Fraser’s ass was supposed to be that big (as a kind of a joke, since his character had been married for nine years or whatever), or whether he’s just chunked up. I vote for “chunked up.”


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  1. huh…i kinda liked the first one [in spite of myself]. that’s too bad II was a bomb…brendan frasier needs all the help he can get. i mean, really–monkeybone?!

  2. Yeah, I really liked the first. It was a good popcorn movie, you know? And the characters were funny. This time around they just sucked.

  3. “popcorn movie.” i’m using that. 😉

  4. It’s a legitimate genre. I mean, my man Ebert appreciates a good popcorn flick as much as the next guy. But there are films that do it well (Star Wars, Indiana Jones, The (first) Mummy), and there are films that suck at it (The Mummy Returns, Batman and Robin, The Avengers).

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