Frequent visitors to Meg‘s site know about her daily battles with the woman at the Armenian deli. I used to think it was funny, until something similar started happening to me. My morning ritual used to consist of a hot bacon and egg sandwich from the little sandwich man who comes ’round, until I realized that they’re icky, fattening, and give me heartburn. So I started stopping at a little deli called “The Whole Hog” near my office on the way to work. For the first few weeks my order was constantly changing, as I tried through trial-and-error to find the perfect “American” type sandwich. I eventually settled on a brown bap, mayo (not butter), chicken breast, cheese, lettuce, tomato, and mustard. (Helpful tip: British “gherkins” are NOT the same as American dill pickles. They’re more like “bread-and-butter” pickles and they taste AWFUL on a sandwich.) Anyway, so I’ve designed my sandwich and it makes me happy and I’ve been ordering it for weeks. Except that there’s one woman who messes it up every single time. She’s the younger, ditzier one, and she never fails to add cucumbers or forget the mayo or something.

This morning was the absolute worst. My sister was off work so she came along to get a sandwich as well. I walked up to the counter, noted with apprehension that Ditz Woman was on duty, and said, “I’ll just have my usual please. The brown bap with mayo, and chicken…?” You know, to jog her memory. She’s seen me every damn day, even when she doesn’t serve me. (I think she’s like an apprentice or something.) Then she turns to Amy who orders a tuna fish sandwich. We pay, I go to work, and unwrap my sandwich only to discover… there’s nothing on it but mayo and chicken. How could she possibly think that that was ALL I wanted? Do I look like a three-year-old? I know in writing it sounds like it was my fault for not specifying every ingredient, but honestly, both of the other ladies in there can make my sarnie without me saying a word. So this morning’s tea was a complete washout. Next to my soggy bun full of chicken, a hot egg and bacon sandwich looked pretty damn appealing.