I’m having a terrible day. I’m trying to write some ASP code and I just don’t get it. My problem is that my brain is very literal and I write code the way I would do something, but not necessarily the way a computer would. The frustrating thing is that I know enough now to know that my way isn’t the best way, but I don’t have enough technical knowledge to do it the way I know it needs to be done. My co-worker is trying to show me but it’s all a big mess of objects and methods and arrays and loops. So I feel stupid and that’s when the damned tears spring to my eyes. This always happens. I hate it so much; it makes me feel like a big emotional girl. And my anger only makes it worse and I have to flee to the bathroom before the entire office thinks I’m insane.

Does anybody else have this problem? Is there any way to control it? I try to take deep breaths and remain calm but it never works. I get upset right now just describing it. Why don’t guys get this way? It’s not that I’m tearing up over the stupid code; it’s that I’m tearing up over my own inability and frustration. And short of having my tear ducts removed, I don’t think there’s a damn thing I can do about it.


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  1. I *so* know what you mean. If you find the cure, please pass it along. I think it just boils down to sheer frustration that has no other way to manifest itself except in tears.

  2. I’m right there with you. I think we just have to remind ourselves that tears are a healthier way of dealing with frustration than hitting something or someone. And deep breaths and quick dashes to the ladies room. I’m also much closer to tears when I’m tired.

  3. me three. it’s worst for me when i’m blindsided by something or someone and i often find that trying to fight the tears only make them worse (ie i get frustrated by my frustration). my current working conditions insulate me from the majority of those situations, tho i’ve had more than one minor meltdown on account of Cleo’s behavior in public.

  4. I think this is a dilemma for people who care about what they are doing and expect better of themselves. I get this way at work a lot because I can’t help every person who calls with a computer problem. I don’t know everything about the system, I don’t know why it wasn’t fixed right the first time, I can only put in the issue and take their complaints. For me the tears and quiet sobs are probably better than knocking my moniter off my desk and yanking the phone out of the wall, but that might be fun.

  5. I’m so glad that this affects other folks, people I think of as being strong and smart. A little commiseration goes a long way, I guess. 🙂

    I knew that the only thing that would make me feel better would just be to kick that code’s ass and figure the damn thing out. So I did. It took me eight hours, and I got flustered and upset more than a few times, but I got it. It felt great.

  6. And John! Just realized that was you posting. Thanks for stopping by. Glad to see you’re not hiding that blog anymore. 🙂 (Although it *is* a little weird to see references to my own family on somebody else’s website!)

  7. I’m quite lucky that when I get stuck with some programming things, I have a mate who is a bit of a guru at the games stuff.

    Web things though I’m a bit screwed. I always get paranoid with security..don’t care if it rubbish just as long as it’s one secure beast.

    With other coding, I always expect the first write of the program to be amazing even when I’m learning the language etc. When the main thing to do is get a working version then optimize everything.

    As for anger…hmmm… only with some games when the character won’t respond to joystick movements properly. A few joysticks have died in their time due to being attracted to the floor and walls.

    As said at ND (or somthing like it)..hehe.. “We all need to connect our computers together and share a little love.”

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