Why Grace Brothers Sucks

Why Grace Brothers Sucks

  • We bought a widescreen TV from them two years ago. We’ve had problems with it ever since. It has a weird magnetized color spot on one side that we can’t get rid of, and recently the black bars on the side (when watching normal TV) have started going all wavy and screwy. All out of warranty, of course.
  • Last winter I bought a coat there and they forgot to take the security tag off, which meant I had to make an extra trip back – in the cold! – before I could wear it.
  • They were completely unhelpful during my marathon search for glass marbles last year, despite the fact that they use them all throughout their poncy furniture areas.
  • In October I headed to the lingerie department because I needed a push-up bra for my Halloween costume. They didn’t have a single one that would fit me. The staff – all of whom were over 60 – were completely unsympathetic to my plight. At one point, they even tried persuading me to purchase a bra two sizes too small that I could only wear with the aid of this weird extender thing.
  • Last week I hit the shoe department because I needed sensible black dress shoes to wear to a wedding and everywhere else only had three-inch heels. I eventually found what I needed but the experience sucked. If I’m paying triple-digits for a pair of shoes, I want some damn service. I shouldn’t have to wander back and forth trying to get a salesperson’s attention. I even had to specially request a pair of try-on socks (which were handed over quite grudgingly). I had to keep chasing down the salesperson to get the sizes I needed. She was a transvestite who, once it became obvious that I was not going to purchase the $300 extremely pointy fancy shoes she recommended, preferred to stand in the corner and sing ABBA’s “Chiquitita” over and over to herself. Seriously.
  • Against my better judgment, after the shoe debacle I headed back up to lingerie for a strapless bra. I’ve never bought one before and the options were bewildering. Did I get any assistance from the Blue Hair Brigade? Nope. Granted, it was fifteen minutes before closing, but it’s not like there were any other customers hanging around. Eventually I grabbed one in desperation and headed to the dressing room. It soon became evident that it wasn’t going to work. I heard the girl in the next booth talking to a salewoman who sounded sorta nice. As she was leaving, I hailed her over for help. She walked in and was like, “Oh, no no no!” So she fetched me another one. When she got back, I reached over the door for it. She was like, “It’s me! Let me in!” So then I had to suffer the indignity of a sixty-year-old voyeur seeing me topless and struggling with recalcitrant underwear. (The new one was better though, I’ll give her that.) They were kicking me out of the store and I got so flustered that when I left five minutes later, I forgot my beaded bracelet (one that I made!) in the dressing room. I didn’t discover it til I was two blocks away.
  • Today the Snook went back to get my bracelet. An excerpt from our communication:

    Me: Did you remember to stop at Grace Brothers?
    Him: Yup. The lady was very rude, but I got your thingy.
    Me: They’re all rude there! It’s a rude place! She didn’t disparage the QUALITY of my CRAFTSMANSHIP, did she?
    Him: No. I just said that my girlfriend had left a “beaded cuff” and she was like “A WHAT???” and I had to explain. Then she got it and gave a little snicker and a funny smile when she gave it to me — not sure what that was about. Maybe she thought it was mine and I was lying about the girlfriend because I’m actually a trannie on the weekends or something.

In summary, Grace Brothers sucks. I’ll be shopping at David Jones from now on. Thank you.

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11 Comments

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  1. oh girl, I could write volumes about the crappy place. they suck to no end. I have no idea how they stay in business.
    I assume it was the City store. You should write a nasty letter to the store manager. It probably wont change anything, but you’ll feel better.

    Oh and ALWAYS go to DJs for bras, they have the good fitters there. The kind that can just look at you and say, ‘you need a 36D dear’. ya know?

  2. Was the the tranny called Mrs Slocombe and did she constantly harp on about her pussy?

  3. Best pussy quote, ever:

    “Hello, is that Mr. Ackbar? This is Mrs. Slocombe, your next door neighbour. I was wondering if you’d go to my front door, bend down, and look through the letterbox, and if you can see my pussy, drop a sardine on the mat.”

  4. I vote for DJs as well.

    I’m living in the US for now, but come back to Sydney for serious shopping at the DJs. Their stores are classier and the doormen are cool!

  5. You’ve probably heard me bitch about working at DJ’s more than enough, but I will give them two thumbs up for their service.
    Grace Bros seriously expect you to do everything yourself, then they just take your cash. The reason why alot of peaople shop at GB’s instead of DJ’s is that DJ’s tend to stock only the more expensive brands. If, however, they have the same brand and item it will be the same price if not cheaper than at GB.

  6. Thanks for the commiseration, guys. I’ve always been a little intimidated by DJs just because it looks so fancy. I’m definitely going there for my next shopping trip. (Well, my next shopping trip that involves something I can’t get at Kmart.)

  7. Have you got your TV close to any speakers? It’s the magnets in them that causes the weird spot. If you have then move the speaker, or the TV, and, depending on how long the two have been together, the spot will slowly fade. Mind you if you’ve had them next to each other for two years it may now be too late!

  8. No way – Just heard that GB’s is changing its name to Myers to be consistent with Melbourne.

    Hmm, sure that will make all the difference!

  9. It’s not that, Deborah. We’ve even tried de-gaussing it by using the Snook’s computer monitor. I think there’s something inside that’s making it go screwy.

    I read about that Ben. I think it sucks. I mean, “Grace Bros.” has a whole lot more resonance and history than a crappy name like “Myer”.

  10. see i come from WA, where there is no such thing as GB. Grace Bros was something strange to us that always got thanked at the end of the “Sale of the Century” credits 🙂

  11. Melbourne’s Myer is just as crap. Apparently ‘Myer’ and ‘Grace Brothers’ already have the same stock, prices, etc., and they’re just re-branding to cut their marketing costs. This is allegedly part of Coles Myer’s new ‘direction’. Wow, broad vision guys.

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