Finished the book.

*Dark Tower Spoiler Warning!*
So I finished Song of Susannah. She didn’t die, yet. Man, that one really sucked though. As I explained it to Snookums this morning, it’s like in the middle of The Lord of the Rings, if Sauron suddenly realized that a man named JRR Tolkien was writing his story on another plane of existence and decided to keep the good guys from winning by arranging for a van to, you know, run Tolkien over when he was out on his morning constitutional in Oxford one day. It sucks. Mostly I’m pissed off because about halfway through the book it became glaringly apparent to me how heavily the conclusion was going to draw upon actual, real world events of the past five years. Not only is this cheesy – I actually groaned when the World Trade Center made its appearance – but it just draws attention to the fact that King had no goddamn clue how this was going to end when he started it. I mean, sure, I accept that he didn’t know the exact details, but I figure that an author should have a pretty good idea when he starts out whether the good guys are going to win in the end. Now I’m just cringing. It’s just such a sad, non-Romantic ending for our beloved ka-tet. (As I said to the Snook, “This book just got so meta I think my brain’s going to fall out.”) And good grief, the whole revelation of who Susannah’s baby’s father is? I could’ve puked. Really. He had to put Mordred in the story? Mordred??? I really, really hope King can pull out a satisfying conclusion to this series because right now book 6 out of 7 has left me incredibly frustrated. I didn’t realize how attached I’d become to the characters until he left them all up to their necks in cheesy, meta, cliffhanger crap.

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  1. I love King but you’ve hit the nail on the head..he just can’t finish a novel well. His short stories are better for that reason. Sometime King is just really taxing.

  2. I used to love Stephen King and didn’t think anything could stop me loving him… till I started reading his column in Entertainment Weekly. Now he makes me insane and I don’t know if I can ever pick up another one of his books. What a cranky fellow.

  3. Huh. I read something about that myself but I haven’t actually read any of his actual columns. What does he bitch about? Is he just a crankypants in general?

  4. Or is he all Orson Scott Card, you know, seducing you in with his cool stories before laying down all the Mormon propaganda and telling you how the “gay” kid in School of Rock was an abomination? Like that? (Still a little bitter about Uncle Orson.)

  5. He does stuff like rant on and on at his readers about how unfair it was that Kingdom Hospital got canceled (Er… I tried watching it. For twenty minutes. It deserved to be canceled.) Also, that if you don’t like big dumb summer movies he feels so so sorry for you. But you’d better like the specific big dumb summer movies that he likes, or else! For instance, if you liked Spider-Man 2, you’re just wrong, because its entire emotional life consists of Kirsten Dunst being upset that Tobey Maguire missed her play.

    He makes these weird statements and then, if you disagree, you’re just stupid and wrong.

    It’s getting old.

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