Curse of the Korean Pot Belly

Curse of the Korean Pot Belly

Me: *yawn*
Crochet Lady: Tired?
Me: Yeah, exhausted. I went to bed at 9:30 last night and I still feel like I could fall back asleep! Probably just my allergies, combined with this depressing rainy weather…
Crochet Lady: And the bub. *smile*
Me: Wha–? Bub?
Crochet Lady: You know… *gestures towards my stomach*
Me: BUB!? That’s not a baby! It’s just my, my, my, you know, POOCH! I’m not PREGNANT! I’m just FAT! Good grief, I need to start wearing my apron again with the sign that says “NOT A BABY.” Just because a person has a predisposition to carry their extra weight in front doesn’t mean you can automatically assume that they’re WITH CHILD. Sheesh! That’s it; I’m going back on my diet today. No more carbs. That means I can’t do my DEEP-FRIED MACARONI EXPERIMENT, which I guess is fine because people might have thought I was some BIG HORMONAL PREGNANT WOMAN suffering CRAZY FOOD CRAVINGS, and GOD KNOWS I wouldn’t want THAT…”
Crochet Lady: *slinks out the door*

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13 Comments

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  1. people SUCK! I hope she felt like sh%t

  2. She just tried to change the subject really quickly. It was even more hilarious because I am definitely NOT preggers, as my raging cramps would attest. Which kinda made me laugh, afterwards. 🙂

  3. Awwww.

    My sister-in-law has this awesome baked macaroni & cheese where she uses so much butter you’d think it was fried. She used Dreamfield macaroni (5g net carbs/serving and doesn’t taste like medical tubing) and it was really, really good.

  4. I hate when people do that. It is even worse is when it is your own family and that is ALL they ask about or assume. After I got married, everyone assumed that any extra weight, tiredness, or sick stomach was because I was pregnant. Stupid people, just because a person is of “child-bearing age”, doesnt automatically mean they dont actually get sick or put on a few pounds. Sorry about your experience with the stupid lady, what a moron.

  5. Meanwhile on the other side of the world… I *am* having a baby (in ~6 weeks, not like I’m still in early pregnancy) and no one notices my tummy at all!

    Or maybe I’m just so scary no one dares mention it?

  6. I always knew there was a reason for the sudden Las Vegas wedding? :p

    Hey as well as getting married by Elvis. You didn’t get pregnant by him too, did you?

  7. I have a pooch, too… I’ve had it since I was 5, and am convinced no amount of dieting will make mine go away! Hommage to our pooches!

  8. A rule to live by from Dave Barry: “You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she’s pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.”

  9. hmm. There’s somthing about the word pooch that freaks me out but this story is hilarious!! I also have a belly that will never leave me. I freaked last year when an 8 year old asked if I was having a baby. I also responded “No! I’m just fat, Now go to bed!”

  10. Hehe.. should have responded with something like, “Now go to bed or I’ll eat you!”

  11. Don’t worry, she’s from Mt Druitt, where women are pregnant more often than not. (Please delete this comment if it’s inappropriate, or you’re talking about a completely different crochet lady, or you feel me naming her location is incriminating).

  12. Heehee. I’m not sure if we’re talking about the same one, but as I think the chances of her reading it are nil, who cares? It was funny. 🙂

  13. Maybe she could crochet you a bib

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