Guess the Commercial

Guess the Commercial
Okay, remember when we played this before? I give you the setup for an Australian television advertisement that is currently pissing me off, and you guess the punchline and the product. Ready?

We crane in on a couple panting in bed, presumably post-coitus. The man is fidgety and disheveled. “Sorry,” he says. The Angelina Jolie-lookalike beside him grins. “That’s okay.” She rolls over to the night table as the wacky trumpets of sexual dissatisfaction kick in. As her partner covers his eyes in masculine shame, she moans with pleasure as she pops open… WHAT? And WHY?

Let the guessing commence. Your clues: This isn’t one of those ads that airs at 2:30 am. It’s been on every day this week during Days of Our Lives, which runs at 1:00 pm. You can tell this because the woman is wearing a tank top to cover her boobies, despite the fact that nobody – outside Buffy the Vampire Slayer and the women of Sex and the City – have sex with a top on. So it’s not that dirty…

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21 Comments

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  1. A Snickers? Packed with (pea)nuts, Snickers really satisfies!

  2. i don’t know, but the phrase “wacky trumpets of sexual dissatisfaction” is brillant!

  3. A bottle of Herbal Essenses shampoo? Because, you know, sometimes a girl’s just got the “urge to herbal.”

  4. My guess is a beer commercial of some kind.

  5. I was thinking beer, but that’s almost too obvious. I’m guessing some sort of snack food; something wacky like a jar of pickles or olives.

  6. I’ll give it a few more hours before I put you out of your misery…

  7. The nightstand drawer to reveal a Bible? Man, I’m going to burn just for thinking of that one…

  8. Heehee. None of you is even close, though perhaps Patrick is a little warmer than everybody else… (I will say, however, that your ideas are a lot funnier than the real one.)

  9. Actually now that I re-read them, Jason’s initial guess was the closest so far…

  10. Is it a Pringles commercial?

  11. Is it Vegemite? B/c Vegemite in bed is sick. Hell, Vegemite anyplace is sick for that matter…

  12. Is it Mars bar? As it helps you work, rest and play (in bed)…

    Ah pops open might suggest it’s erm… Pringles?

  13. Hahahaha… I want to tell you but the guesses are just too funny. Keep ’em coming!

  14. It aint Fosters or Castlemaine 4 X? Refreshes the parts ..etc etc… cant.

  15. It aint Fosters or Castlemaine 4 X? Refreshes the parts ..etc etc… cant.

  16. Oops…dunno why that posted twice… just realised anyway. It’s Grolsch I’m getting that slogan mixed up with. 😉

  17. Okay, the answer: It was Jila Mints. I’ll recap the rest of the commercial for you:

    Voiceover: Jila Mints have layer upon layer of premium mint, right to the core. (Image of layers of mint.) So at least something in your life can be smooth… (cut to woman reading a magazine and sucking mint as boyfriend snores)… long-lasting… and hard to the very end.

    And then we get an end graphic of the box of mints on the night table along with the “smooth long lasting hard to the very end” catchphrase. (My bolding there is *exactly* the same as appears onscreen.)

    I showed it to the Snook tonight. “Isn’t that AWFUL? Can they DO that on television?” He said, “Actually I think you can be rude during the day, because all the impressionable kiddies are supposed to be at school.”

    Anyway, I’m declaring Jason the winner for his initial Snickers guess, because it was closest in terms of horribly lame sexual double entendré. Thanks to everybody for playing!

  18. As always when you ask us to play, we obey!

  19. Wait, so are you saying I’m horribly lame? 🙂 Woohoo I won!

  20. Oh, man. That commercial is naughty.

  21. Not knowing the answer was driving me crazy! Thanks for ending the misery. That commerical sounds a little too risqué for daytime television!

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