Ferocious Kitty

Dr. Amy Jones: 1, Absolute Domestics: 0
Me: Hi, I had a message to call you regarding our cleaner, Nurgul.
Her: Yes… Nurgul contacted us this morning. Now, I understand you have a cat.
Me: Yes. Oh God, did she get out? Is she lost or something?
Her: No. Your cat is making Nurgul anxious.
Me: What? Anxious?
Her: Yes. She’s sent the job back to us to find you a new cleaner.
Me: That’s so weird. She’s really skittish, I swear!
Her: *laughing* Well, she must have done something to scare off Nurgul!
Me: That little shit…

So yeah, Nurgul lasted all of ONE visit. I even made sure to let them know ahead of time that we had a cat (so we didn’t get a cleaner who’s allergic or anything), so it’s not like it was a surprise. I wonder what the hell the little monster did.


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  1. I feel Nurgul’s pain–Tim’s cat (Franklin Roosevelt Harris) HATED me when Tim and I first met. That damn cat clawed me (“Tim, your little monster just drew blood!”) and hissed at me constantly–if I had been alone with Franklin bac then, I would have been genuinely scared–angry/defensive cats just give me the heebie-jeebies. Maybe Nurgul was just on the edge of being freaked out the whole time, even though Dr. Jones wasn’t doing anything antagonistic.

    (You’ll be happy to know that Franklin and I have reached a peace of sorts–we’re kind of like Russia and the U.S. in the early 80s, but still, it’s progress.)

  2. Well, Rodd claims she goes psycho on him whenever I leave the house, but I don’t see it. She’s such a scaredy cat! But he says she pounces at him and scratches his legs. Maybe Amy thought Nurgul drove me off. 🙂

  3. I bet she licked her leg.
    that my bet.

  4. You know how much I love Amy cat, and how much alone time I spent with her when I was house sitting. She was never scary(except when she was attacking idiothead at night, but I suppose she was just trying to warn me of his evilness), and I am actually, quite easily startled by animals, as much as I love them.
    That is SO ODD. Maybe Amy missed her Aunty Helen and got her confused with Nurgul and wanted her to play with the cardboard on wire?
    Or maybe Nurgul tried to clean under the bed? That is the Dr’s lair.

  5. Cats can be evil and scary if you’re not used to them. Is she a play-attack cat? You know, the kind that hide out and pounce on your legs when you walk by? If she does it to the Snook, she probably did it to Nurgul and it freaked her out. My roomate’s cat used to do that to me and it didn’t scare me, but it did piss me off and usually ended in me flinging whatever shoe I was wearing at the cat. (Instinctual agression breeds instinctual retaliation.) Maybe she went nutso when Nurgul started vacuuming- I don’t know about cats, but every dog I’ve ever had goes absolutely bonkers in the presence of a vaccuum cleaner.

  6. I, too, had a roommate with a cat that would piss me off. He would hide and pounce and scratch. Little jerk. I usually ended up locking him in a room that was safe for him when we had company over, perhaps a cleaning lady in your case, to avoid any freaking out of others. And, dang it, cat scratches hurt about as much as a paper cut. OUCH! Anyway, my sister has a real problem with cats because of the way they scratch and scare others. They really freak her out.

  7. I bet she was using a laser pointer to clean something an DAJ freaked out on her ass.

  8. The mystery deepens. I think there’s more to this than meets the eye. I assumed since I got the call that Nurgul hadn’t come as planned, but when we got home the place was spic-and-span. I’d left a note with all the stuff we wanted her to do and she’d written one back to me, thanking us for giving her more direction and asking that I do the same next week. NEXT WEEK. And then three hours later I get the call saying she’s not coming any more. What gives? Did the cat attack her between the dining room table and the front door? She actually stopped over last night to give back the key, but she didn’t say much beyond the usual pleasantries. It’s all so very odd.

  9. WeeB - Dr Amy's #99th Victim

    March 12, 2006 — 1:20 pm

    When I stayed with you and was left alone with the cat, I was tied to one of your chairs and given electo-torture by the wee devil.

    Let’s just say cats do know how to wire up crocodile clips to a car battery then attach them to your nipples.

    It was the evil laugh that really got me though and stuffing the furball down my mouth to keep me quiet was not that enjoyable either.

  10. *Still laughing…* That’s just WRONG, Ferret, but soooo hilarious too…

  11. At least she didn’t throw it on a bonfire…
    Is the Dr related to Greebo from Discworld by any chance?

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