Everybody, mooove!
I took another step on the road to Grumpy Old Ladydom yesterday. The Snook and I somehow got the very stupid idea to head into Myer to look for a new coffee grinder. Of course, everybody in Sydney seems to have had the same idea. (Note to self: When you see police directing foot traffic in and out of a department store, come back another day.) It took us 20 minutes to get from the entrance to the escalators, and it was just a Gauntlet of Suck. We were packed in shoulder-to-shoulder, and yet there were idiots trying to push baby carriages. I passed Titsiana the Thief at one point; she must’ve been having a field day. (The Snook suggested I point her out to the security guards, but there was just no way.) Anyway, we finally made it within sight of the escalators and joined the queue of people heading upstairs. I stepped on and immediately gritted my teeth. People were just standing all sprawled out on both sides. With a quick look of apology to the Snook, I finally did what I’ve been longing to do: I yelled out, “STAND TO THE LEFT, PLEASE!” Amazingly, people jumped to the left as if they’d been shot. I was able to walk right up past them all in about two seconds. Snookums says it reminded him of Fezzik clearing the road in The Princess Bride. I can live with that.

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  1. oh man, the escalator thing drives me INSANE. it’s such a simple concept, why do people find it so difficult to grasp? good on you for yelling at them. I’m going to do that next time I’m at Broadway shopping centre.

  2. You don’t happen to have a photo of Titsiana the thief do you? If, somehow you do, I could forward it on to our security people and they can forward it on to Sydney…

    Today I worked for eight hours in a building with broken air-conditioning, and missed two of my breaks. 🙁 At least the customers were all nice.

  3. The Broadway doesn’t even have escalators! They’re travelators! They’re just inclined ramps! People who don’t walk on those are the LAZIEST PEOPLE EVER, and I shall join you in publicly shaming them, Charisse. 🙂

    I don’t have a good one, crumpet. We’ve got a blurry series of security camera stills, but not close enough so that you’d recognize her.

  4. Uhg, the escalator thing. There’s this HUGE long escalator that leads up from street level to Central station in Brisbane, and I constantly have to shove my way past people to walk up the escalator.

    Every time I start the trek, I think to myself “this here is the reason we’ve got such a weight problem in the western world.”

    My stairs. Let me show you them.

  5. If god had wanted us to walk up escallators, then he woudn’t have given us… escallators?

  6. with all this talk of escalators did you all miss the web-goddess quotable quote of 2007? “Gauntlet of Suck”

    I’m so using that.

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