Good riddance, you pitiful little troll.U.K. Survivor Update: Oh. My. God. You will not believe what a petty little troll Eve is! At least she’s gone. This is yet another episode that I missed (for reasons that shall become clear in a moment), but here are the highlights from the episode summary:

  • After Zoe’s departure, Eve quickly realized that there’s a new alliance in town and wasted no time getting in a bitchfest with Jackie. Mick came to the same conclusion but had a much better strategy: if you can’t beat ’em, join ’em. As food was still going missing, Mick dropped a few clues that led to the discovery of a bottle of ketchup in Eve’s bag. Incredulous, the group decided to leave it there and seemed resolved to vote her off. Mick breathed a little easier.
  • The Reward Challenge involved guessing how much weight you’d lost. Eve turned out to be the winner of a large chocolate cake, which she even shared with the rest of the group. She should’ve kept it to herself. They all hate her.
  • Charlotte raised herself even further in my esteem with this comment on her situation: “I trust Jackie more than Richard because I know he’s been playing the game all along. I know he’s looking to be in the last two, not with me I don’t think because he wants me voting because he’s built me up to vote for him, so it’s a difficult situation to be in.” Is that not just what I predicted?
  • The Immunity Challenge involved everybody keeping their hand on an upturned log. Whoever left it there the longest would win. In the middle of the contest, though, Charlotte got her period. Richard, Mick, and Jackie told her that it was fine with them if she briefly left the log to go “sort herself out.” Eve, however, didn’t agree and told her that she’d have to stay. So Charlotte had to stand there and put in a tampon while cowering under Richard’s sarong and keeping one hand on a log. CAN YOU IMAGINE? With every petty injustice she suffers, the Harlotte just grows in my estimation. Eve later said, “I felt when Charlotte got her period yesterday on the log I just thought that is so pathetic to say just because you’re a girl you’re allowed to step off because you’ve got your period. It’s like bloody grow up. It’s not anything more than having a wee, it’s just a bodily fluid.” Spoken like the little masculine troll she is. Richard ended up winning the Challenge, of course, and Eve knew she was on the way out.
  • But she wouldn’t go down without a fight! On the way back to camp, Eve confessed to Mick (who she mistakenly still thought was an ally) that she was going to drink all the ketchup to spite everybody. On Tribal Council day, she also packed her backpack with most of the remaining stock of tampons (which she knew Charlotte would be needing) and one of the four remaining waterproof ponchos. Later, Jackie went through her bag and found the stash. The rest of the group was so pissed that they took the poncho and slashed a message into the back. It wasn’t clear what was written, but Richard gave a clue when he asked: “Are we allowed to carve words beginning with ‘F’?” Hee! He continued later, “Can you imagine it – you’re out the game and the only way you can make a statement is to put a bottle of half-diluted tomato ketchup under your floorboard and steal tampons?”
  • Finally, Tribal Council. Mark Austin asked everyone what they thought of Eve’s behavior during the Immunity Challenge. Mick said it was inhumane. Jackie added, “Our only supply of tampons was taken by Eve, knowing full well that Charlotte needed them and I thought that was very selfish.” Eve responded, “Do I get a chance to answer to this? It’s so pathetic, if you want to go into detail I didn’t think Charlotte was using that particular brand of tampons… Jackie told me she couldn’t cope with having a period here, and I’m about to get my period, so I took some but having put about ten back Jackie did rifle through my bag.” What? Anyhoo, everybody voted for her and the troll was gone. Her only parting words were “Good luck Mick. You’re going to need it.” Did she not realize that he too joined with the others? What an idiot.

I wish the rest of the country would wake up to how brilliant this show is. Of course, judging by how many episodes I’ve missed myself, ITV’s scheduling leaves much to be desired…