Everyone should start Halloween off with a disturbing sight, right? With that in mind, I give you the Penis Bear. Yes, click on that image and check out the close-up. I discovered Penis Bear earlier in the week when a co-worker pointed him out. There he was, sitting nonchalantly in the back window of a random beat up Ford. He’s been there ever since. I couldn’t resist sneaking up to take a photo. Who manufactures such a thing? Why is he uncircumsized? Who in my office is actually weird enough to drive around with this in their car? The world may never know.
Category: Halloween
Things related to Halloween
-
Happy Halloween
-
Girlie SOS!
I’ve got the vinyl pants. I’ve got the skanky top. I’ve even got the push-up bra. But for me to really be Sarah Michelle Gellar tomorrow night, I need a face pancaked with Maybelline products. I’m terrible at applying makeup but I’ve got the basic supplies. So tell me, oh glamour girls, how would you go about getting Buffy’s look? (I’m going for Season 2 Buffy, if that matters.) Please be as detailed as possible with your application instructions because I’m a dork and if there’s a way to get it wrong, I will. 🙂
-
Halloween party
I spent the morning working on the invitation for our upcoming Halloween Housewarming Party. Check it out:
Location and phone number blurred to frustrate would-be stalkers. Not that you’ll recognize me and the Snook in our super-duper top-secret costumes! (The pirate idea has fallen by the wayside.)
-
Halloween
Can you believe I didn’t mention Halloween at all yesterday? Maybe that’s because it was a total non-event here. Seriously, I didn’t see a single person in costume. The Snook claims he saw some skanky chick in fairy wings down by the train station, but she probably dresses like that every day. (We get a lot of freaks in Newtown.) We celebrated by getting dressed up and going out for a nice Italian dinner around the corner at “Da Stefano’s”. You Days of Our Lives fans will appreciate my amusement. It was nice.
-
Scary cookies
Check out these Halloween cookies my sister made! Scary bones and witches’ fingers. Maybe if we all ask very nicely, she’ll tell us how she did it… -
Friday Five
1. What is your favorite scary movie?
I don’t really like scary movies. I have an overactive imagination and they freak me out. I did force myself to see The Sixth Sense, though, and I liked that a lot.2. What is your favorite Halloween treat?
Contrary to what my Mom remembers, it is NOT those marshmallow scary cat things (i.e. Peeps). I was always a fan of the mini-candy bar, preferably Snickers, Butterfinger, or Baby Ruth. Sure, they’re more expensive than Bit-O-Honey (*shudder*) or Double Bubble (*horrors*), but a neighbor who hands out the good stuff is a neighbor who’s not gonna get egged. Remember that, grown-ups.3. Do you dress up for Halloween? If so, describe your best Halloween costume.
Not anymore. My best costume, the one that actually won an award, was “Large”. That’s right, the concept of largeness. Two of my friends and I were trying to come up with cheap costumes for the Senior Bar contest during our last year of college. We noticed that I was about a foot taller than the second girl, who was a foot taller than the third girl. Voila! We each grabbed a white T-shirt and wrote our designated letter (“S”, “M”, and “L”) on the front. Then we just walked around in a group all night. We didn’t win at the campus bar, but we did win third prize at the local gay bar’s drag show! Ah, good times.4. Do you enjoy going to haunted houses or other spooky events?
No. As I said above, I’m a big ol’ scaredy cat. I much prefer sitting at home and watching all the Halloween-themed sitcom episodes.5. Will you dress up for Halloween this year?
Extremely doubtful. The local bar where we play trivia is having a costume contest, but apparently it’s just for scary costumes. And other than that, I haven’t seen a single Halloween event advertised here. So no trick-or-treat for Kristy this year! 🙁 -
New Poll
How will you be celebrating Halloween this year? I’m feeling rather sad since it’s not really that big of a deal in Australia. They don’t even trick-or-treat! Apparently adults might have Halloween parties, but it’s pretty strictly limited to “scary” costumes (which takes a lot of the fun out of it, I think). I haven’t seen a *single* Halloween-themed item in the grocery store. No candy, no decorations, no pumpkins even! I might have to carve a squash just to satisfy my festive urge.
-
Happy Halloween
We had trick-or-treaters! Tiny British trick-or-treaters! I couldn’t believe it. We didn’t have them last year; they just appeared. Nick and Alex (the English guys) were supremely annoyed at the fact that London parents seem to be trying to imitate and kick-start this very American pasttime. I was just annoyed at the fact that they don’t know any of the “Trick-or-Treating Etiquette” that us Yanks know by heart. For example, in the U.S. kids know to only go to houses that are decorated and/or have their front porch lights on. Right? Well, since nobody decorates here parents were seriously just taking their kids around the neighborhood knocking on EVERY DOOR. Luckily when they hit us my sister happened to be working her way through the bag of Meijer bulk Halloween candy Mom sent us, so I was able to hand out a couple chocolate balls to each kid. But I can’t imagine that they found more than a couple houses willing and able to give them something. Also, the kids had TINY bags. Really, really small. Of course, since nobody was prepared for them, they didn’t really need big ones, but that’s beside the point. These kids need to learn the joys of carrying a pillowcase. And lastly, some idiot brought his kids to the door at, like, 9:30. By then all our candy was gone, and I’d thrown out my jack-o-lantern (since it was getting moldy anyway). So I had to tell the kids that I didn’t have anything for them. I just glared at the father. What kind of jerk drags them around to random houses that late? Seriously, I should go on TV and teach these Brits how it’s done. -
Crappy Costumes
“Hey Mom! I wanna be a Scratch ‘N’ Sniff Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup this year!”My sister and I were just reminiscing about those store bought Halloween costumes that just consisted of a mask and plastic gown. We could never convince Mom to buy them for us and always ended up making our costumes. I was a “Punk Rocker” for, like, six years in a row. (I used to braid my hair and then paint each of the strands a different color. I thought I was so cool.) Anyway, Kim found an online archive of those cheesy store costumes. Some of these are just unbelievable. Asteroids the Atari game? Chachi from “Happy Days”? Flipper the dolphin? A frickin’ Rubik’s Cube??
