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Crankiness and tears.
My allergies officially crossed the line today from being merely irritating to completely debilitating. It was stupid, but I ran out of Zyrtec a few days ago and decided to go without it to see what would happen. (I dunno; sometimes I wonder whether pills actually do any good, you know?) As a result, within two minutes of waking up this morning my eyes and nose were streaming. My sinuses were burning and I couldn’t stop sneezing. I felt awful. I couldn’t even think straight; it was like my head was filled with nasty steel wool. Even after some emergency Zyrtec I still felt like ass. My head hurt and I was completely dehydrated. I was supposed to go to a Stitch-and-Bitch at my coworker’s place but instead spent the whole day lying on the couch. This sucks. Frickin’ dust mites… I don’t get it! I’ve been washing the sheets in boiling water; we had the carpet steam cleaned; I’ve been vacuuming regularly. Nothing helps. So back on the expensive nightly Zyrtec I go. My allergy specialist has decided that I need “desensitization therapy.” Basically they’re going to inject me with little bits of the stuff I’m allergic to – repeatedly – until I get used to it. I’m just waiting for the allergens to arrive from France (the apparent allergy capital of the world). Then come the shots. And if that doesn’t work, I’ll have to have surgery on my sinuses! Man, this sucks. Anybody want to chip in and get me one of those Japanese nasal teapots?

Dog Toy or Marital Aid? I’m rather surprised to announce that I got 11 out of 14 correct! I swear it’s just because of all the time I’ve spent in the pet store getting things for the cat. Really. (Link courtesy of John.)

Notre Dame vs. the KKK. Fascinating stuff. Like Brigita, I’m wondering why I never heard this story while I was a student…

Amy! Check it out: Lynn Truss, who wrote Eats, Shoots & Leaves, is coming to Sydney! She’s appearing at a Literary Lunch on the 31st. Can you make it? Total grammar geek fest!

Inappropriate…

… Umbrellas. We had two days of rain this week and each morning I hate to fight my way to work through a sea of self-important wankers carrying golf umbrellas on the sidewalk. Look, people, it’s raining. Accept that your feet are going to get a little wet and give the rest of us a break. This whole umbrella-size arms race is just ridiculous. I started envisioning a sketch (for the little comedy show that plays in my head, of course) involving a person carrying a patio table umbrella down George Street in Sydney. You know, like the guy with the big phone on Trigger Happy TV. That cheered me up a little.

… Children. I understand that the shop appeals to mostly female customers, and that many of those customers spend their days at home taking care of their kids. I understand that coming to a beautiful shop to indulge in their hobby must feel like a wonderful little vacation. I just wish they’d leave the damn kids at home. Every single day some mother comes in dragging her offspring, only to park them in the corner and ignore them while she shops. If it’s a baby, it will inevitably start to scream and cry (while blocking traffic in it’s inevitably Inappropriate Large Stroller). If they’re ambulatory, they’ll run up and down the length of the store while yelling. I’m not exaggerating. Our shop has lots of beautiful, shiny, colorful, expensive things that the young dears just love to run their sticky hands over and pull off the shelves into a heap. If anything, these experiences only serve to dampen yet further the nearly-inaudible tickings of my own biological clock.

… Old Ladies. Look, I like being appreciated. I go out of my way to help customers and it’s nice when they thank me. There’s a line, though, and occasionally it gets crossed. Like today, when a 70-year-old woman kissed me and then – I swear – propositioned me. Seriously. All because I put some wool on hold for her and promised that I’d keep it til she came back for her next knitting class. She thanked me profusely while grasping my hand and I tried to leave it at that, but she had a grip of steel and I surrendered to the inevitable cheek smooch, thinking that’d be the end of it. “Oh, you are just so special! What would we do without this girl? Isn’t she the greatest! I just wish I could take you home with me! Not only will you be kept, you’ll be fed and watered too!” *double take* What, what, what? Creepy old lady.

I’m a hometrotter.

My sister’s been adding some more photos to her wedding website, if you’re interested. Thank GOD she hasn’t put one of me up yet. I can only imagine the photographic horrors she could unleash upon the world. (This is where my forethought in offering her webspace on my server – to which I have the password! – is an outright godsend.)

How did you decided what you wanted to do with your life? I’m weighing in on the big questions over at MetaFilter.

64=65? I was a little wigged at first til I discovered how it cheats.

Congratulations to my old college friend Hoey and his wife Brigid, who’re expecting their first child any day now! Hoey used my sock monkey tutorial to make a monkey for the nipper. He’s gonna be a cool dad.