Wait, that’s Kate Beckinsale in Van Helsing? Whoa, I had no idea. Seriously, movie promoters, you dropped the ball on this one. I haven’t been hiding from the advertising; I see it on websites, bus stops, and TV commercials. Snookums even asked me last week: “Is that Kate Beckinsale on there?” Me: “No way. It doesn’t look anything like her and besides, if it was her they’d mention her name somewhere. And anyway, she was already in a crappy vampire movie last year.” Seriously, why hide the girl? She doesn’t even get billing anywhere on the posters I’ve seen! Was Underworld really that bad?