Annoying Customers

Customers Who Can Bite Me Today:

  • Italian lady in the acid wash jeans who asked a hundred questions and swore up and down that her friend bought some ball of wool here that we Just. Don’t. Sell. She then proceeded to pile up four hundred dollars worth of yarn on the counter only to decide to leave half of it at the last minute.
  • The vandal who ripped half a dozen pages out in the middle of a $50 Rowan magazine. Listen, jerk, do us a favor and just steal the book if you want the pattern so damn bad. Don’t frickin’ RUIN it.
  • Titsiana. Yes, her. We had a shoplifter on the weekend walk out with two pairs of rosewood needles and the kit for the Anny Blatt wrap I knitted. That’s well over two hundred dollars worth of stuff. Upon reviewing the security footage, guess who it was? I can’t bloody believe it. Maybe that was her plan all along, to freak everybody out with her glistening boobs and her crazy personal space issues so that the staff keep far enough away from her that she can do her thieving.
  • The nice regular customer lady who complimented me on my new hairdo and then, while I was digging out some embroidery scissors for her, added “Congratulations…” and then time seemed to slow down and in that nanosecond I had about fifteen guesses for where that sentence was going to go, things like “Congratulations on your wedding!” or “Congratulations on losing the weight!” but instead she said IT, the thing that makes my blood boil – “Congratulations on the baby!” Blank stare. “THERE. IS. NO. BABY.” “Oh my, I’m so sorry! I shouldn’t…” “THEN LET THIS BE A LESSON TO YOU.”

Of course, it’s really that last one that burns me up the most. Here I was finally getting some confidence back and feeling really good about tonight’s WW meeting, and then some RUDE MORON has to go and ruin it all like that. The Snook tried to put a positive spin on it: “Really you should take it as a compliment, because what she was really saying was that you have a small bum.” And I can see where he’s going with that, but it doesn’t help much. All the weight I’ve lost just serves to accentuate the pot belly even more. CURSE MY APPLE-SHAPED GENES!

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9 Comments

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  1. people suck today. I’m right there with ya. (much beer tonight)

  2. Eeeek. That’s so not cool.

  3. Was that woman walleyed or something? Lordy.

    Good thing you like the people you work with and the public is the only thorn in your retail side.

  4. that lady still exists? i thought she died in the early 90s. has no one learned this lesson? never assume there’s a baby, people! never! why would you? i wouldn’t assume you got a lobotomy!

    hang in there, apple.
    you look awesome.
    she was drunk on yarn.

  5. Sorry that happened….happens to me too sometimes and it makes my blood boil!

    I just say…”Baby? Oh, You mean belly. No congratulations necessary on that one!”

    My sister just says Thank you and moves on.

  6. One time, right after Christmas, a really, really obnoxious customer said to my boss, “are you expecting? or just a little too much holiday?” Ignore the rude people…just being themselves is their punishment.

  7. I’ve gotten that one. Me and my northern European breasts just attract the dumb pregger comments. F – em.

  8. I really like to read your reports
    about shop and customers (especially
    those idi..s). You humour is so ironic,
    i like that. (is it humour?)

    First i write: “Hope you must serve
    many of those moron customers (and
    write much more ironic comments)”, but
    then i read my comment again and it
    looks ‘little’ nasty, so i try again:

    It is your work and a big part of
    your life, so i hope you get more
    intelligent customers and when those
    morons come try to be patient, you are
    better than they are. (and then share
    your comment with us).

  9. There was a Dave Barry gag that should probably serve as Words to Live By, as regards this kind of situation: “You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she’s pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that very moment.”

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