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For the Snook: Beer made from melted polar ice caps.

I just watched Picnic at Hanging Rock for the first time. Now I’m going to go to bed and have nightmares about scary black cliff faces to the sounds of Zamfir’s panflute for the next seven hours…

Oh dear God. This is going to be all over the Internet in five minutes, but this Snakes on a Plane promotion is BRILLIANT. You enter your friend’s name and details, and it generates a clip of Samuel L. Jackson exhorting your friend to go see the movie. The best part is, you can actually send it via phone if you’re in the US! (The rest of us have to use e-mail.) Too bad it’s past the curfew or my sister’d be answering a call from Samuel L. as we speak.

You wouldn’t think a person could rattle on for three full minutes in a radio interview about the “Knit and Quit” classes her shop is running WITHOUT ACTUALLY MENTIONING THE NAME OF THE SHOP. But oh yes, it can be done (1.9MB MP3). That’s me on Brisbane Radio 4BC this morning. In my defense, it was really early and I assumed they’d have mentioned the shop in my intro. But they didn’t. Instead I managed to namecheck both Patons and the WoolBaa and bring up the stupid bikini anecdote AGAIN. Sometimes I’m too stupid to exist. So much for my fifteen minutes of fame!

My bacon knowledge is formidable.

As a soon-to-be-minted Australian citizen, I’ve been taking a greater interest in politics. I think it may be time to join a political party. This morning I checked out the websites of the three main options I’m considering: Labor, the Greens, and the Democrats. I have to say, the big picture of Kim Beazley “tearing up” Industrial Relations laws put me right off Labor. It’s just so clichéd and ridiculous. Yeah, I know they’re the only party with even half a chance of knocking out the Liberals, but somehow they just don’t appeal to me. (Sorry, Peter.) It took me too long to find their platform details on their website and when I did, they were incredibly long and boring. The Democrats were better (and definitely have the best website), but I found their list of party objectives really vague and hippy-dippy. That leaves the Greens, who up til now I’d pictured as simply raving Greenpeace types. But hang on! Their little “Policy Snapshot” booket is surprisingly readable! It has actual plans in it! I like that. And I agreed with nearly all their positions. (I can’t understand this whole fear of GM foods. Bring on the synthetic meat, I say!) So it looks like I might be a Green. Anybody want to try to sway me either way?

Mysterious Home Zoo. Okay, those are oddly creepy. And I can’t figure out what the one with the flippers is supposed to be. A frog?

Oh DEAR GOD. The Today Show is filming a live piece on the Knit and Quit here in the shop tomorrow morning. I need some knitters to fill out the background. Anybody available??

Later: NEVERMIND. The bastards cancelled on us. Something about not having a satellite truck available. It’s been postponed for the time being. Of course, I’ve just wasted an hour of my life trying to get people around for it and probably alienated half the knitting groups in Sydney with my desperate pleas. Why am I doing publicity? I’m the STAR, dammit! I should just have to turn up!

That’s sarcasm. But not really.