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Oscar nominations are out! Not a lot of surprises there. I’m sooo happy for Queen Latifah and John C. Reilly (and I’ll throw in a “I told you so” regarding Richard Gere). But hey, what the hell is this The Pianist movie? I’ve never even heard of it!

Anybody up for joining me in a Yahoo! Pick ‘Em game? They haven’t posted it yet, but I’m sure they will. If there’s interest I’ll start one up…

I suspect none of you Yanks are aware, but the Cricket World Cup has just started in South Africa and we’re all eagerly following it. Tonight before Australia’s first game we had the shock announcement that Shane Warne, probably the world’s premiere spin bowler, will not be playing due to a positive drug test result. (Further explanation: if bowlers are basically the same as pitchers, this guy is the king of the curve ball. He’s been called one of the five best players this century. He also strikes me as a bit of an ass, but that’s beside the point.) Luckily Australia seem to have taken it in stride and have just posted a great total for their innings. I must be assimilating down here, because I can’t even stomach the thought of the Kiwis or the Poms winning. Aussie Aussie Aussie! Oi Oi Oi!

Somebody recently e-mailed me to say that the pattern I linked for the Funky Chicken Pincushions has disappeared. In lieu I’ve written down the instructions as I remember them, along with a few crude drawings.

You need:
Two squares of different colored fabric, any size will do (though less than 4-inches becomes a bit fiddly)
Felt for the comb, beak, and tail
Stuffing
Buttons for the eyes (optional)

Basically, the first thing you’re going to do is turn your two solid squares into two multi-colored ones. Start by pinning the two squares together with the right sides facing. Use a pen to draw a diagonal line between two opposite corners (through the center). You’re going to sew two lines down along this one, one on each side. If you’re using a sewing machine, just line up your presser foot with the marked line. If you’re doing it by hand, just mark two more lines approximately 1/4″ on either side. Now sew along those two lines. When you’re done, cut down the center marked line. You now have two new squares, each made up of two different colored triangles. Break out the iron and press each one, opening up the seams and pressing them flat.

Now it’s time to cut out your beak and comb. There’s no exact size or shape here; just eyeball it. (I tend to make my combs about a third as long as the side of the square.) Lay out one of your squares right-side up. Place the beak and comb as shown in this diagram. Now lay the other square face-down on top of them, making sure the colors align. Pin everything together as best you can.

More sewing! Sew along the dotted line indicated. Start in the corner opposite the beak and comb, and go for an inch or so. Secure the seam and cut the thread. Now start again an inch or so farther along. (This leaves an opening through which you will eventually turn the chicken right-side out.) Turn at the corners and continue to sew around the next two sides, making sure you go through the beak and comb. Leave the last side open.

Okay, now you need to cut two tail pieces out of felt. Besically, these are just triangles. I like to make them different colors to coordinate with the fabric. Make one smaller than the other and pin them together through the center. Now here’s the tricky bit (and the part I can’t draw): One side of your square is still open, right? Well, squish it. By that I mean, open it up and line up the two seams in the middle. This is how you get the “pyramid” shape of the chicken. It helps to finger-press those seams open so you can get it lined up just right. You’re going to sandwich your tail in that opening, so use the pin to center it along the seams, with the points inside the chicken and facing up towards the “comb” side. (You’ll have to peek inside there to make sure you’re not putting the tail in upside-down.) Now pin the three layers together and sew across the seam. You should now have the basic chicken shape, except its features are all on the inside.

Use the opening you leave to turn your chicken right-side out. Stuff him through the hole and then slip-stitch it shut as best you can. Add some buttons for eyes if you want, and you’re done! With a sewing machine you can really crank these puppies out quickly, and it’s a great way to use up extra fabric you have lying around. Have fun!

I’ve come down with some sort of flu bug. I felt like such crap that I stayed home today. The upside is that the Snook is cooking my favorite pasta dish, Penne Amatriciana, to cheer me up… Atkins be damned!

If you’re anything like me, you often visit Scrubbles and get depressed by all the cool things Matt seems to acquire. Not that they aren’t great… just that seeing someone with taste makes me feel guilty that practically our whole house is furnished by IKEA. Anyhoo, on Sunday the Snook and I were heading out to breakfast (lazy people!) when we discovered that a nearby vintage antiques store was going out of business. We bought all kinds of stuff, but the things I was most happy about were these two sets of aluminum drinking glasses. My aunt’s had a set for ages and I always thought they were just the coolest things ever. So now I’ve finally got some! Each set of four comes in its own little picnic carrying case with a bottle opener. I’m so in love with them that I think I’m going to have to collect some more. So if you come across any, let me know!

Things I Would Happily Pay Top-Dollar For This Very Instant But For Some Insane Reason Am Unable to Purchase in This Country:

• TiVo
• Diet Vanilla Coke
• Golden Grahams
• Dinty Moore Beef Stew

Yeah, it’s a short list, but I’m sure I’ll be adding to it. Those are ranked roughly in diminishing order of how frequently I say, “Dammit! Why can’t I buy [X]?” What’s the point of having a World Trade Organization if willing consumers are denied the opportunity to buy stuff they want? *pout* I say hurry up, globalization!

[Edited to add: Okay, I just realized that sounds very Asshole American “Where’s the McDonald’s?” Tourist, which wasn’t what I intended. See, they already have regular Vanilla Coke here. I’m just annoyed that they haven’t brought out a diet version. The Golden Grahams thing is more a reaction to the lack of cinnamon and graham flavored products here. (No “Big Red” gum either.) Okay, the Dinty Moore thing is ridiculous, and I can’t really fault them there. I just miss it. But as for the TiVo… I really don’t get this. A) They already have a PAL version they did for the UK. B) It’s not like they’d have to translate any of the menus or documentation. C) There are several existing cable setups here that, I can only imagine, would love to offer a bundled system. So what’s the damn holdup? Anyway, just trying to prove I’m not being totally irrational here…]

Happy birthday to my Dad!

Diet Update: I’ve now lost just over 40 pounds. More remarkably, I can finally fit into everything in my wardrobe. That doesn’t sound like much, but when you’ve been lugging some of your favorite pieces of clothing around from continent to continent for three years in what you gloomily suspect is the impossible hope of ever wearing them again… to be able to finally fasten those buttons again brings tears to the eyes.